Three Days
by rchllve
Summary: Twilight AU, canon-parings. After her past holds her back for years, Bella makes up her mind and will go to great lengths hoping to become who she is meant to be. What could you accomplish in three days?
1. Prologue

Rachel Love

* * *

**Three Days**

_What could you accomplish in three days?_

* * *

Prologue

* * *

Summary: Twilight AU, canon-parings. After her past holds her back for years, Bella makes up her mind and will go to great lengths hoping to become who she is meant to be. What could you accomplish in three days?

Paring: E/B

_**Thanks to Chattgirl4 who gives awesome advice, and PTB for their phenomenal betas! _

_****Please** Review. This is my first fanfic and all helpful comments are appreciated!_

_**Twilight = Stephenie Meyer. Twilight ≠ Me._

* * *

**Very special thanks to Solar Eclipses, who encouraged me to write and inspired me with her own fantastic stories,_  
Sins of the Piano Man_ and _Lovers in Disguise_.  
She's an _amazing_ author and a friend.  
If you aren't reading her work, you _really_ should be! **

* * *

I froze when I entered the great room. Panic started to swell in my chest - I needed to find my voice quickly. My heart pounded, and I hoped to God I could silence the panic attack coming, just this once.

_Take just a few more steps, Bella._

I stood in the middle of the great room surrounded by the five vampires I'd traveled so far to see.

"I know it's a lot to ask, and I'm sorry that I have to ask you, but I've run out of options." I shifted my weight from one leg to the other. "For as long as I can remember, I've always felt out of place. Then Edward found me, and I finally fit in somewhere."

The speech I'd practiced all the way here went out the window. "What I feel for Edward goes far beyond love. I know I'm meant to be more – that _we're_ meant to be more. He says that while I live, he will live, and when I die, he will die. That simply can _not_ happen." The words tumbled out of me in a rush. I shifted my weight back and forth. For the first time, I realized that it was freezing cold in the house. Was that why my insides shook?

"Please, please consider changing me! I can't go on like this, and I don't have anyone else to ask!" I lowered myself to begging. Whether it was because of the lack of sleep or the now-or-never feeling that was stuck in my stomach, I didn't care.

The five of them stood perfectly still. No one spoke. Only I breathed.

"I will consider your request, young one."


	2. My Imperfections Only Make Me Adorable

Rachel Love

* * *

**Three Days**

_What could you accomplish in three days?_

* * *

Chapter 1

My Imperfections Only Make Me More Adorable

* * *

_**Special thanks to The-masticator and nobi_fawkes at PTB for great comments and their expertise_

_**Very special thanks to Chattgirl4 who gives awesome advice! _

_**Please Review. This is my first fanfic and all helpful comments are appreciated!_

_**Twilight = Stephenie Meyer. Twilight ≠ Me._

* * *

_Autumn_

"The days are getting shorter," Angela said, as she peeked over her white, oval sunglasses. The sun fell behind the cluster of trees and cast a blanket shadow over my back yard.

"I noticed," I said, without looking up from my magazine. "As much as I hate the idea, I need to go clothes shopping. School starts in a couple weeks." With a deep sigh, I closed my eyes and let my head fall back on the metal chair frame. Memories began to flood my mind. A year had passed since my mom died, but at times like these, it felt as if her death had just happened.

"Sorry," Angela whispered, as she shifted her weight on the black metal lounger to face me, her five-foot-ten figure moving gracefully. I envied her long legs and natural tan, as opposed to my clumsy short legs and all over paleness. I sighed, sitting up and rubbed my face with both hands, then turning to Angela.

"Thanks." I smiled gratefully. Angela's intuition amazed me. She knew when the bad moments crept in and never tried to dismiss them; she just waited.

"It's been a crazy summer." Angela shook her head, remembering our summer job as camp counselors. "Camp was... insane."

I laughed. "I didn't know if I wanted to lose my sanity with the girls or lose my lunch with the boys!" Just the thought of the boys' "Squirting Bug Guts Competition" made my stomach turn.

"Do you think we were so annoying at ten?" Angela asked.

"No." I responded simply and Angela laughed.

Camp Hughston opened my eyes that summer. New, ridiculous fears cropped up to fuel the increasing panic attacks I had on a regular basis now. Our senior year would begin in a couple weeks and the idea that "real life" would arrive on my doorstep in May scared me shitless.

"So do you want to go shopping this weekend then?" Angela stood up, and started to collect her things as the all too familiar cloud cover rolled in from the west.

"No, actually. But thanks. I'd rather just get it done alone," I answered, as I got up from my metal lounge chair to go inside and make dinner. Charlie would be home soon.

Angela nodded. "Ok, just let me know if you change your mind." We stood awkwardly for a minute and I got the feeling she wanted to say more, but must've decided against it.

My mom died the summer between my sophomore and junior year. She ran late for her yoga class and forgot to put on her seat belt. Timeliness was never her strong suit. A drunk driver crossed four lanes of traffic, jumped the median and hit my mom's car head-on; she never saw it coming. The paramedics told me she died on impact. I really hoped so. The thought of her suffering made me sick inside. I called Charlie and asked him to come to Phoenix right away to help me tie up her loose ends and pack. My mom's husband, Phil, signed the house over to become mine when I turned eighteen since it was my mother's house to begin with. I suppose he felt it was the least he could do. Phil and I didn't speak much. He packed his stuff and moved out without even a good-bye.

The move to Forks shocked my already-fragile psyche. Charlie, my dad, felt like a stranger at first. I barely knew him, and now he was all the family I had. The dark cloud cover of Forks didn't compare to the hot sun in Phoenix; they were as different as day and night.

Angela left and Charlie arrived home promptly at five o'clock. I stood in front of the open refrigerator door, mentally sifting through recipes.

"It's not going to change," he said, as he set his gun down on the console and hung his belt on the coat hook.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, I lost track of time," I said as I closed the refrigerator door. I had nothing, so we went to the old stand-by: chili dogs and chips, the dinner of champions. I detested canned chili, but my failure to plan left me with few options.

"That's ok, kiddo. I kept myself alive before you got here." Charlie chuckled and patted my head.

"I promise a decent meal tomorrow, Dad." I shook my head, internally berating myself.

I threw together the high-fat, high-cholesterol meal and decided on cold cereal for myself. I wouldn't eat the gut bomb.

"Angela wants to go school shopping with me," I said after dinner. Last year, Charlie took me, and it turned out to be a disaster.

"Are you going?" Charlie asked. I thought I saw a glimmer of dread on his face.

"I'm thinking about it. I'll go with her or go alone."

Charlie paused for a moment. "I'll take you, Bells." I definitely saw dread on his face.

"No, thanks, Dad. I appreciate the offer, but I'd rather go to the dentist than shop with you again."

We looked at each other and laughed. "It was pretty bad, wasn't it?" Charlie took a gulp of his beer.

"Um..." A smile crept across my face and I quickly changed the subject. "A storm is coming in from the west. I'm going to head out back and watch." I got up from the couch and headed toward the back door, flinging my favorite fleece throw over my shoulder.

My dad made a grunt-like sound and put the foot up on his recliner. The Mariners game started at seven o'clock. He tried once to come outside to bond with me and see what I loved so much. Needless to say, my beer-loving, sports-centric dad stayed out there with me for all of fifteen minutes. His effort touched me, although I think both he and I were relieved when he went in to watch the game.

Time always flew by out here. A couple of hours had passed when I sat, wrapped in my fleece throw, nestled in the peace I felt. I watched gray clouds race across the bright moonlit sky.

That's when I saw him.

I didn't know it was a 'him' at first. I saw a streak in the darkness along the tree line that surrounded my house. It came to a stop, suddenly. The most striking man I had ever laid eyes on stood at the tree line. I wasn't afraid, although I should've been. I sat quietly and watched. His chiseled features appeared to glow in the moonlight that made everything white, black or varying shades of gray. He wore jeans and white, button-up shirt and his skin was a silver white while his eyes were an onyx black. He completely captivated me. He paced at the tree line so fast my eyes could barely keep up. Why was he in my backyard? Before I could ask, he was gone.

I thought about all the things that could have just happened and got up quickly to go inside. I flung open the squeaky screen door, and when I closed the back door a little too hard, Charlie jumped, hitting his head on the cabinet he was rummaging through to find a snack.

"You okay, Bells? You're white as a ghost. Did you see something?" Charlie, always the police chief, opened the back door, and looked for anything suspicious.

I needed to think fast.

"I'm not sure, Dad. I thought I heard something in the woods." My hands shook with the little lie-by-omission as I wiped my clammy palms on my jeans. It was better than telling him what I _saw_.

"Yeah, well, you're not in Phoenix anymore, Bells." Charlie came back inside and closed the door. "There're animals out there. In fact, I don't know if I like you going out back after dark." His eyebrows met in obvious disapproval, but Charlie knew, deep down, that I was as stubborn as he was. If I wanted to go out, I would fight to go.

"Thanks, Dad, but I am sure we're making too much out of some harmless animal looking for food in the dark." I tried to sound nonchalant. I really didn't want him to pull rank on me. "I'm tired. I'm going to go get ready for bed."

"Okay. See ya tomorrow," Dad said, on his way into the den, Fritos in hand. By the sound of his voice, I knew we would talk about this again.

"Night, Dad," I mumbled, as I ran up the stairs to get ready for bed. I heard a mumbled "goodnight" from the den. Charlie's predictability comforted me, but it was definitely a little dysfunctional.

I bundled up in my quilt and stared out the window of my room for hours that night. I didn't see anything else that night, or any of the nights that followed.

* * *

I opened my eyes to darkness, except for the red numbers of my alarm clock that read 5:52. _It would be like that today._ The first day of my senior year and I woke up eight minutes before the alarm. My stomach churned and I quickly thanked God I hadn't eaten much last night. I wrapped my grandmother's old quilt tight around me. I didn't want to leave the security of my warm bed to the cold outside world. But the day would start regardless, whether I wanted it to or not.

My warm feet turned cold quickly as they shuffled through the piles of clean and dirty clothes on the floor. Still tired and somewhat nauseous, I headed to the one bathroom in the house.

More cold air hit me when I opened the door to the bathroom. At the time the house was built, insulation must have been overrated. The pipes rattled when I turned on the shower, protesting the early morning as well. I cringed as I sat down on the cold, mint green toilet that matched the mint green tiles on the wall.

_Bella, you'll be fine_, I reassured myself, silently. _You know these people. Most of them are your friends. And besides, Angela will be there._

Thank God for Angela.

Soon steam from the shower filled the bathroom with warm mist, so I got in and tried to finish waking up. I washed my hair and relaxed into the hot water as it flowed from my hair, over my face, and down my body. I looked down at the old drain and wished I could become the water and flow out with it. Why must everything be so difficult?

The cold air hit me again as I opened the bathroom door in my towel. I shivered and darted quickly to my room. After drying my dark auburn hair, I settled on a white stretch cotton long sleeve shirt and my favorite pair of dark denim jeans. I lightly put on some brown eye shadow, a little mascara, and lip gloss. Simplicity was my motto. Actually, plain was probably my motto, but I liked how simplicity sounded. After a quick look in the mirror, I headed downstairs.

Charlie followed me to the kitchen dressed nicely in his police uniform. "Hey, Bells, I got some juice this morning; it's in the fridge. You should probably eat somethin' before you go."

"Thanks, Dad," I mumbled, as I sat down at the table. "Have a good day." Orange juice and toothpaste didn't taste great, and the knot still in my stomach cringed at the idea of any breakfast.

"Thanks, you too." His voice faded as he walked out the door.

The chair squeaked quietly across the beige linoleum floor. Opening the fridge to grab a diet coke, I began to gather my things on the table.

_Phone, purse, binder, schedule, keys... _

My mom would always make a big deal about the first day of school.

The reminders of Renee stood out everywhere. The dark wood paneled kitchen and the cabinets she painted yellow years ago made it seem like my dad couldn't let go of her any more than I could. Their wedding picture still sat on the mantle, almost like a shrine. Although the reminders of my mother comforted me, I couldn't help but feel for Charlie. Seventeen years had passed since she took me and left. We Swans were tough, but we scarred easily.

I grabbed my jacket and my things from the table and headed out to my truck, Old Faithful. My friends nicknamed it last year while they made fun of the faded red paint and the dent freckles. But Old Faithful was just that. Faithful. And it ran great, thanks to Jacob, my dad's friend's son. No matter what they said, I totally loved my truck.

The wind blew the changing leaves off the trees while the sky stayed overcast. Old Faithful rumbled into the parking lot of Forks High School. My new schedule in hand, I found my assigned locker and headed to my first period class, American Government. The classroom was plain, except a poster of the presidents on the wall and a map of the country. Familiar faces looked up at me as I walked in, most were friendly. A shiver ran up my back as I took a deep breath and sat in the closest seat to the door. The mask went up as I smiled and sat quietly. Even though most of those faces might think of me as their friend, only Angela knew of the silent fight I fought with myself on days like these.

The hallways were small and old but had a lot of character, with detailed architecture up around the tall ceiling, around the windows and brick walls painted cream yellow. Character and beauty lay hidden underneath the monotonous cream paint.

The economics classroom had windows lining the right side of the room, which gave the room lots of natural light. I liked it. On the rare days in Forks that the sun would come out, the room filled with bright yellow, happy sunshine.

When I saw Mr. Joseph, the economics teacher, I laughed. _He must be new_.

Mr. Joseph stood six feet tall with a beer gut and a long gray ponytail accented with a neon blue streak. His laugh bellowed out of the classroom and into the hall. I glanced around the room and noticed he had vegetarian posters all over his classroom. One sign in particular stood out to me. The sign read: _The Roadkill Diner _and had different "entrees" of rodents that were supposedly killed on the side of the road. _Nice._

Angela waited for me outside economics. "I love being a senior. Two more classes today!" she said when I reached her.

"Being a senior is only fun if you worked your butt off the first three years," I said as I flung my purse over my shoulder. We walked quietly together to anatomy. Anatomy, itself, came easy to me. The horrible smell of formaldehyde that emanated from the classroom was a different story.

My favorite class turned out to be my elective writing class. The teacher planned a section titled "Cultural Literacy" that I looked forward to. The teacher was a unique man, but I couldn't put my finger on what made him odd to me.

Time passed, and after Christmas break, my writing teacher assigned a paper with a minimum of six pages. _Seriously?_ I wrote papers like this as a sophomore in Phoenix, but I said nothing. Looking through the list of topics, past the common and boring ones for something different, I settled on "Legends of the Pacific Northwest." _Interesting._

Charlie usually went fishing on the weekends. I think he felt guilty about leaving me but I always encouraged him to go as it gave me time to catch up on housework. This Saturday, however, I spent at the library. The new notebook computer I bought with last summer's camp money was fast, but Charlie's dial-up connection wasn't.

The new library still had the faint smell of new carpet and fresh paint and I loved being there. Books gave me the escape I needed as they helped me forget the bad memories, if only for a time.

"I have a paper on Pacific-Northwest legends. Do you have any suggestions on resources?" I whispered to the heavy-set woman who sat behind the help desk, playing solitaire on her computer.

"Oh, very interesting topic!" she whispered back in her Canadian accent. "That's a pretty broad spectrum though. Of course, there's the Raven and the Mouse Woman which would make for a great paper," she pounded the keys of her ancient computer's keyboard.

"Oh, okay." I scribbled the names down on my notebook.

"Also, there are the evil legends: the Cannibal Woman, the Monster Killer Whale and the Cold Ones." Her eyes lit up as she rambled off the names of the legend monsters. "Now that would make an interesting paper, eh?"

"Oh, sure. I'll check all of those ideas out. Where do I go?"

"The back corner over there," she pointed out to her left. "Let me know how it turns out."

"Uh, sure, thanks," I mumbled.

I glanced out the floor to ceiling window and noticed a storm was fast approaching. I figured I should head home. I loved Old Faithful, but I didn't like driving it when it poured. At least I had a starting point for my paper.

Later that week, Angela and I sat at my kitchen table and shared a pan of French fries.

"How's your paper coming?" I asked.

"Not bad. I finished the research, now I just have to put it all together. Yours?"

"It's coming along," I said. "I went to the library Saturday. I think I'm going to do mine on a character of the legends, or it would be too broad."

"Oh yeah? Which one?" Angela asked, and then gulped down the rest of her Diet Coke.

"There're a few." I got my notebook out of my bag. "I narrowed it down to the Cannibal Woman, the Monster Killer Whale or the Cold Ones."

"Oh, creepy, Bella! You couldn't just be normal and pick something boring, could you?" Angela joked as she shook her head.

I laughed half-heartedly as I closed my notebook. "No, I guess not." I put my notebook away and turned to my best friend. "Ange, I'm scared the memories I have of my mom are fading. It's just little things right now. I can't see her face as clearly or hear her voice like I could before," I quietly confessed. "I don't want to hurt anymore, but I'm afraid if I don't, I'll lose what little I have left."

"That would bother me, too," Angela said, gently. She looked thoughtful as she ate more ketchup than French fry. "Why don't you start a journal about your mom? You know, put in memories, and maybe even write letters to her?"

"That's a great idea. I'll think about it." I knew it would help keep her from fading, but rehashing the past came with consequences.


	3. With Age Brings Wisdom, Or Not

Rachel Love

* * *

**Three Days**

_What could you accomplish in three days?_

* * *

Chapter Two

With Age Brings Wisdom. Or Age Shows Up Alone. You Never Know.

* * *

_**Special thanks to PTB for great comments and their expertise._

_**Very special thanks to Chattgirl4 who gives awesome advice! _

_**Please Review. This is my first fanfic and all helpful comments are appreciated!_

_**Twilight = Stephenie Meyer. Twilight ≠ Me._

* * *

**Day 1**

_January 30_

As I drove by, I saw icicles hanging off the tree branches and the eaves of the houses. It was certainly beautiful, like a still-frame photo of a water drop falling. The ice on the road, however, didn't look as beautiful. I drove about as well as I walked - clumsily but cautiously.

My day at school came to an end in Anatomy, where we tore open little frogs to have a look. The smell of formaldehyde and whatever was in that slimy, green amphibian made me want to puke. Maybe I could talk Charlie into letting me stay home tomorrow for "Slimy Green Amphibian – Take Two."

I pulled into my driveway, the gravel crunching underneath my tires, and got out into the cold winter air. I really should've gotten used to this cold by now. I opened the passenger door to Old Faithful and began to gather my books.

"Um, hello." Startled, I turned to see a tall, gorgeous guy with bronze hair, amber-colored eyes, and a smile that made me forget my name.

"Uh...hi. I didn't hear you walk up."

_Act natural, Bella._

"I'm Edward," the beautiful man said, undeterred.

"Oh." _My God._ _Say something, Bella!_

He shot me a smile that could leave me dumb and drooling. "Is it not customary to give your name when one introduces himself to you?" he asked quietly. Was he being an ass?

"Yeah, sorry, I'm...Bella."

"Bella..." Edward gazed those damn eyes into mine, making my heart pound in my chest. "Short for Isabella?"

"Yes, but if you call me that, I'll slug you." Oh. My. God. I just said that out loud! _So now, if you wouldn't mind, Edward, would you help me dislodge the foot in my mouth?_

"I'll keep that in mind." Edward chuckled.

_Oh, please, don't._

"Okay, well, it was great meeting you. But I need to get inside now and do homework and stuff." I stumbled and fell, dropping my books everywhere. My clumsiness didn't faze me; that was completely normal for me. However, I thought of myself as fairly articulate and I just finished a sentence with "_and stuff_."

Edward-the-gentleman helped me gather my books and noticed the few I had for my mythology paper. "Interesting reading."

"Yeah, I'm doing a paper on Pacific-Northwest legends for school. It's pretty weird stuff." I nodded and made an attempt for some oxygen. "I really need to get going. Great to meet you...Edward." I said his name purposefully, smiled my sincerest smile, and turned to go inside.

"May I see you again?" He called after me.

_Seriously, did I humor him that much?_

I turned back and answered, "Uh, sure. That would be okay."

"Great. Goodbye, Bella." With that, the beautiful guy, who just appeared out of nowhere, walked down my driveway and down the street.

* * *

**Day 4  
**

_February 2_

I sat at my dining room table with my books sprawled in front of me but I couldn't concentrate. I found my mind wandering a lot, especially back to the conversation with Edward a few days ago. Giving up on my homework, I got up and started dinner. I figured we would have something super-simple tonight which would be easy to eat in the den. I decided on steak and cheese sandwiches and homemade baked fries; I also tried to sneak in a fruit salad. We planned to watch a hockey game together that night, and I suggested we watch one that Charlie didn't care about so he could teach me the game. My dad simply nodded, but I could see it pleased him. This meant a lot to him; I just hoped I could stand it.

I sat next to Charlie on my section of the worn plaid couch and desperately tried to listen as he explained to me what happened from face-offs to penalties and power-plays. All in all, I got a pretty good idea about the game and felt I knew enough to watch with Charlie and not be completely confused. _Mission Accomplished._

Later that night, I listened to the rhythmic rain, and just as I began to doze off, I heard a tap. _Tap. Tap._ I figured it must have been the storm, glanced at the clock and turned over to fall asleep again. _Tap. Tap._ Curious, I got up and went to the window. I found Edward standing under my second-floor window, soaked to the bone and smiling up at me. I opened my window as quietly as I could.

_Oh, Lord._

"Um...hi, Edward." It really was more of a question than a statement. I wondered what my police-chief-dad would think of this.

"Good evening, Bella. Would you come down?" he asked.

Everything logical in my mind said no. It was late and I didn't know him from Adam. However, my feet didn't answer to my logical side, and they were on their way to the door. I met him at the back door in flannel snowman-printed pants and a black t-shirt.

"You know, my dad is the chief of police. Do you really think you should be here?"

"No, I don't. But I had to be," he said simply.

"You had to be?"

"Yes." He shrugged. Apparently, that was all the information I would get about his appearance at this ungodly hour.

I sighed. "We can sit on the porch and talk, if you want. Let me get you a towel." I knew that Charlie would have a conniption if he found out about this.

I opened the door quietly and tiptoed into the laundry room. Feeling around in the dark, I grabbed the first towel I put my hands on and hurried back to Edward-the-captivating.

"I'm sorry, the only towels I have downstairs are the old, beat up ones," I said, embarrassed.

"That's fine. Don't mind if I do." He took the bleached-to-hell towel and made an attempt to dry his hair. The towel left his hair a sexy mess that I'd have given anything to run my fingers through.

Even though I was wrapped up in my comfy, brown fleece, I still shivered. "So why are you here, Edward? This is pretty crazy."

_Why the hell are you knocking on my window in the dead of night?_

"I want to know more about you," he said, softly.

I sat, caught in the depths of his amber eyes, and noticed my body begin to tingle.

_Oh, God, I'm getting frostbite!_

I took a deep breath as I broke from his gaze. "Yeah, well, you've kind of freaked me out. Knocking on my window in the middle of the night seems a bit... stalkerish." The logical side peeked out again and really made me question who Edward was and what he really wanted. My chest tightened.

"Oh, you're right. I'm sorry about that. I guess I didn't think, did I?" Edward looked down, focusing on his fidgeting hands.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds and sighed.

_Why was he really here? What did he want to know? What would Charlie say if he woke up? How bad would Charlie bust me? Why was I so uneasy? Why was I _always _so uneasy?_

"So, okay. What do you want to know?" I conceded. Suddenly, I felt my body tense as I worried about what questions he would throw at me.

"Everything," he whispered and waited silently.

"Well, that narrows it down." A huge part of me felt relief that there weren't poignant questions that I would have to dodge, but at the same time, I wasn't sure how to answer that.

"Let's start simple. Tell me about school." He sat back on the couch. I could do this. I mastered this "surface conversation" a while ago.

"Okay, well, I'm a senior at Forks High. It's a pretty small school; there are about four hundred students. It's nothing like the school I came from in Phoenix!" I said, shaking my head.

"Oh? What was Phoenix like?"

"Big. The schools, the buildings, and even the neighborhood roads were all huge. And it's hot and sunny there, nothing like cold, wet, and cloudy Forks."

"No, I suppose not." He chuckled.

"So, what do you do during the day? Are you in college?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm attending Clallam Community College in Port Angeles right now. I could have gone on to the university, but I wanted to stay near family. We move a lot with my dad's job."

"You have a pretty close-knit family, then?"

"Yes, I would say so." Edward nodded, thoughtfully.

Then we talked about trivial things awhile: music, books, and movies. It felt nice. And safe.

The question I dreaded came up in the next hour. My mother. My voice cracked when I told him about Renee; I usually didn't talk about my mom out loud to anyone but Angela. His eyes softened as he gently tilted his head to the left, listening. It wasn't lost on me that for someone so anxious about talking to people, I found talking to Edward fairly easy.

"She was everything I'm not. She was intuitive, empathetic, witty, and completely illogical." I laughed. The sadness I felt turned bittersweet. "I'm more like Charlie. He's concrete and stable. I don't understand how they ever got together." I thought for a moment about what a strange pair they made. "Okay, it's your turn. Tell me a little about you."

He ran his fingers through his glistening hair. "Well, I'm eighteen; I graduated last year in Alaska. My dad is a doctor at Forks Memorial. I have two brothers and two sisters."

"And?" I laughed. "You wouldn't have let me by with that answer earlier!"

"No, I wouldn't have." He chuckled as he shook his head. Edward immediately started to tell me about his high school in Alaska. I knew evasion when I saw it, and he had it mastered, too. When you're afraid of someone getting too close, you learn how to give people just enough information to keep them happy but at arm's length.

Time continued to fly by that night. When three a.m. rolled around, I knew he needed to leave, but I didn't want our conversation to end. "Look, I'm glad you came here tonight, Edward."

"I am, as well." He looked as sullen as I felt.

"Bye, Edward," I whispered after I walked him to the patio door.

He smiled and whispered, "Don't worry, you will see me again." He handed me the towel back, stiff from frost that cracked but softened quickly in my hands. When I turned around to say something about it, he was gone.

* * *

**Day 7  
**

_February 5_

I darted down the stairs with only fifteen minutes to get to my first class. God, I hated Mondays.

"A little late today?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, I overslept," I answered as I ran through the house looking for my things. It was ridiculous that I wouldn't get my things ready to go the night before, but I said this every morning, and yet I still ran around like a banshee looking for my stuff before I left.

"Alright, well, have a good day," Charlie said as he walked out the door to his cruiser.

"Thanks, Dad. You too," I called after him. After two minutes of frantic searching, I found my phone under the couch, grabbed my books, purse, phone and keys and ran out the door.

_First period started in thirteen minutes._

To my surprise, Edward stood at the driver's side door of Old Faithful.

"Hey, Edward. I am so late," I said. Translation - get out of my way!

"Well, here, let me take you. I wanted to ask you if I could meet you for lunch anyway."

"Take me? To school?" I asked, puzzled.

"That is where you are going, right?"

"Yeah... Well, sure, if you want to." At least then I could make sense of the pile of books and papers in my arms while he drove. He opened the door to his silver Volvo, and I plopped in and started to sort.

_First period started in eleven minutes._

Edward drove like a maniac. He weaved in and out of traffic as if everyone else stood still. I got a little carsick from looking down at my books and his lead-footed driving.

_First period started in seven minutes._

"Good grief, Edward," I said with a nervous laugh and my hand on the dashboard. "You don't have to break the sound barrier. They won't tear off a limb if I'm late or anything."

He laughed but didn't answer, and I made it to school with two minutes to spare. Thank God I didn't have to walk far.

_Hell, thank God I made it there alive._

"So, what time is lunch?" he asked, leaning toward the open window after I got out of the car.

"Meet me at 11:20 at the tree across the street." I pointed to an old oak tree about fifty yards away. "We can sit and talk there."

"I'll be there," he said and smiled. He drove away, and I ran to American Government, walking in just as the bell rang.

My lunch period came faster than I would have liked. I wanted to see him – but I was scared at the same time. I met Angela in the hall and told her of my lunch plans.

"Okay, I guess. Why haven't I heard anything about this?" Angela asked, confused.

I sighed. "Long story. We'll talk later." _Unless I can avoid it._

The skies were cloudy and although it smelled like rain, I didn't see any evidence that it had yet. I walked out the brick and stone doorway and saw Edward leaning against the tree I pointed out earlier.

"Hi," I said as I got closer to him. "I think it's going to rain."

"No, it will hold off for a little while."

"Oh? Do you have this connection with God or something? He lets you in on the up-to-the-minute weather plans?" I joked.

"Absolutely! Don't you?" he asked, playing along.

I laughed and sat down on an exposed tree root, taking my apple and Diet Coke out of my purse. He sat opposite of me on another root.

"How is your day going? Learn anything new or exciting?" he asked and smiled.

"No. Honestly, I spend more time daydreaming in class than I should," I admitted.

"Really? What do you daydream about?" he asked.

"Nothing exciting, really." I took a bite of my apple and tried to turn the question around. "How about you?"

Edward sat quietly thinking. "Nothing too profound, really. Usually, I think about being someone else, or living in a different time."

"Wow. Do you think about living in the past or the future?" Maybe this would give me insight into that locked tomb of a mind he had.

"Both, actually," he said as he shrugged. "They both have their negatives."

"And positives as well," I added, taking another bite of my apple. "Do you have a bucket list?" I asked. Edward laughed a long time over that.

"I don't have a _bucket list_, Bella."

"I do," I said.

He stopped laughing and leaned in. "Okay, I'll bite. What's on your bucket list?"

Suddenly feeling shy and exposed, I shifted my weight on the tree root and regretted ever bringing up the bucket list at all. "Um..." _He's going to think I'm an idiot, or a loser. _"I don't know - it's kind of silly. I'd like to run a marathon, but I'm pretty sure that idea alone would give Charlie an aneurysm," I said and laughed. Edward smiled. "I'd like to learn to write, like a book." I paused and shifted again. "It doesn't even matter if it gets published or anything. I just want to write it and know it isn't awful. I'd like to learn to play the piano," I paused again, feeling my stomach tighten as the feeling of exposure got heavier. _Deflect, Bella. _"So, you can't think of anything for a bucket list?"

"Oh, ok," Edward answered, and then thought for a second. "I'd like to compose music, something specific that I could be very proud of. I've written some, but they're nothing to write home about." He shook his head and chuckled quietly. "I'd like to learn about cars, you know, to be a 'grease monkey' in my spare time." I struggled to imagine him with grime on his hands and sweat beading down his face but it certainly wasn't an unpleasant thought once I did.

"I'd like to drive a tractor," I said, quietly as I bowed my head slightly, keeping my eyes on him, and biting my lower lip with a smile._ How did he get me to admit all of this to him? Why did I even want to?_

He stared at me for a moment and then laughed; not at me, but with me. "That's doable. It's hard to imagine, but definitely doable."

"Yeah," I laughed, mostly out of embarrassment, but it didn't feel brutal. It felt normal. Bearable.

Edward looked at me and smiled. "It's probably time for you to get back, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. Sucks." I stood up and brushed off my backside.

"Do you have a ride home from school?" he asked.

"Yes, Angela's going to take me home. Thanks for this morning." I said and smiled.

"Sure, no problem. Can I come over tonight?" He had anticipation written all over his face. I could see the idea made him happy and I really liked that.

"Sure. Come the same time as the other night, okay? Then Charlie is sure to be asleep."

"You got it."

The rest of the day, I found my daydreams wandering to Edward. His voice, his smell – they were ingrained in my mind. I wanted to know everything about him, but he seemed as reluctant to open up as I was.

Edward arrived at my window at 11:50 that night.

"Bella?" he called up to my window.

"I'm on my way," I whispered. My sock-covered feet quietly padded down the stairs.

"Hi, Edward," I whispered.

"Good evening, Bella," he said and smiled. "What's the good word?"

"Pumpernickel."

He looked at me as if I had a third eye. "I don't know, it was just the first thing that came to my mind," I said, laughing.

"Bella," he said, shaking his head, "you are so weird." At first, I didn't know how to take that, but then I saw the smile on his face in the shadow, so I figured it must not be bad.

"Yeah," I said, quietly, "and you don't know the half of it."

"I'd like to find out."

I nodded, having no idea what to say. But I sat down in the middle of the wicker couch, about a foot from where I sat the other night. Edward sat down next to me.

"This is nice," he admitted. "What would you like to talk about tonight, Bella?"

I thought for a minute. "Tell me about your parents."

"My parents?" Edward thought for a minute. "Well, my dad, as you know, is a doctor. He was born in England, and moved here at a very young age. My mom stays at home. She is probably the kindest person I have ever known." He revered his mother. That's very good. "Oh, and I was adopted."

"You were? How old were you?"

"Um...young. My biological parents died... in a car accident. Carlisle – that's my dad – took me in. I didn't have any other family."

"Oh wow. It was hard enough to lose my mom. I can't imagine losing Charlie, too." I imagined where I would be without Charlie. Just the thought made my stomach tighten and my breath catch.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward asked, concerned. I didn't know I was so obvious.

"Oh, yeah, it just happens sometimes. I get freaked out pretty easily," I said, as I ran my fingers through my hair and shifted in my seat.

Edward's eyes were wide, and his lips were pursed. "Define freaked out and easily." The intensity in his voice changed. It was like he _had_ to know and I _had _to tell him, despite what I wanted to do. Suddenly, I wanted to vanish into the shadows. Only Angela knew of my anxiety. I really liked Edward, but was he trustworthy? From the look on his face, I didn't have a choice and I felt backed into a corner.

"I can't."

"Tell me."

"Why?"

_I have to get out of here. Now._

"I-I just want to know you, Bella. Sometimes you're very hard to read." He tried to get a hold on his intensity, I assumed to avoid freaking me out. Too late. What simmered under the surface of Edward Cullen?

"I'm not feeling well, Edward. I'm going to go inside. I will see you...tomorrow." I jumped up and went inside, locking the door behind me.

"Bella?" I heard him call. I didn't answer, so he left.

* * *

**Day 8  
**

_February 6_

"Bella?" Edward stood at my truck in the morning. I wasn't sure I wanted to see him.

"Edward." I stood there, books in hand.

"I'm really sorry about last night," he apologized. "I guess I got a little freaked out myself."

"Okay. Why?"

"There are some...oddities about me. I have secrets about my past that, honestly, I'm not ready to share yet. But I don't want to lose you, and I fear I might when you know." He looked down at his feet, his hands planted firmly in his pockets. I felt almost sorry for him. I understood a lot about secrets and not being ready to share. At least he said "when" as if he planned on telling me one day.

"I get that. I have some secrets of my own." I decided that I would give him a little information and see how he handled it. One of us had to be first. "When I said 'freaked out,' it wasn't the best description." My voice lowered to a whisper. "I have pretty bad anxiety. It rules my life. When I thought about losing Charlie, it overwhelmed me." I took a deep breath and waited for a response.

"This anxiety is a secret?" he asked.

"Yeah. Charlie doesn't know. Actually, my best friend Angela is the _only one_ who knows that I suffer with it and how bad it is," I whispered.

"I see." He nodded, his hands now out of his pockets. He looked deep in thought, and then his fiery eyes from last night mellowed and softened. "Thank you for sharing that with me."

"Weird doesn't bother me. I can handle weird, or odd, as you called it."

"Good to know," he said and smiled. "Do you know what triggers it?"

"Any little thing, really," I said. "Apparently fear, but also when attention is drawn to me."

Edward watched me for a second and then softly smiled. "Your nose and cheeks are getting red; you're cold. Let me take you to school. My car probably warms up faster than your truck."

"Alright," I agreed and smiled back. "Now you have to tell me some little secret about you."

Edward opened the car door for me and got in the driver's seat quickly. "Okay. After school, though."

"Hmm. Okay."

Edward didn't come by that night. He left a message on my phone saying he had to go out of town with one of his brothers, and he would be back in two days. Although I felt disappointed, it was probably best. I had a mythology paper due soon and really needed to work on it.

* * *

**Day 12**

_February 10_

I got up Saturday morning and headed back to the library. Thinking came easier there. I still hadn't narrowed it down between the legend monsters: the Cannibal Woman, the Monster Killer Whale, or the Cold Ones. I wanted to make a decision and finish the outline today. The deadline hung heavy over my head, and I really wanted to be rid of it.

As Old Faithful rumbled down the long stretch of road that wove through a large patch of evergreen trees, a white streak suddenly emerged out of nowhere, flying across the road. I slammed on my brakes, threw the truck in park and got out. Was that a deer? I'd never seen a white deer before. I wondered if I could still see it. I walked over to the tree line but it must've run away.

I arrived at the library around eleven a.m. The great thing about the library was that even when it was full, it was never _busy._ People sat quietly working on their projects or reading. No one wanted disturbances; they just wanted peace and space.

I claimed a table and took out my notes. I read through what little I had on each of my legends, agonizing on just making a simple decision.

"Hey there." I turned to see the heavy-set, Canadian woman from behind the counter a few weeks ago.

"Hi."

"How's that paper coming?" she asked. I was impressed she remembered.

"Actually, not great. I decided to do one of the evil legends, but I can't decide which one. Really, it's between the Cannibal Woman and the Cold Ones. The Killer Whale just doesn't do it for me." I sat, staring at my notes while chewing on my pencil.

"Write it on the Cold Ones. I've always loved vampire tales." She giggled. _Oh, Lord. _But at least it was a decision.

"Okay. Thanks. The Cold Ones it is." I smiled at her. She was kind, warm and happy.

From my notes, the Cold Ones were typically women who seduced men and preyed on children. They appeared to be beautiful with pale, cold skin. The librarian brought me another book on them with a little more detail. The Cold Ones had immense strength and were extremely fast. It was rumored that they could wipe out a village in under an hour.

The librarian sat down at my table, and we poured through book after book. The information was scattered in bits and pieces over many of them. "This is a book on Quileute legends. It says here that the Cold Ones are immortal except they can be killed by their one natural enemy...the werewolf!" Her eyes were wide as she read. She clearly got her kicks off these stories.

"Okay, one fantasy at a time, here," I said and smiled, writing down what she had read.

She laughed. "It is overwhelming, isn't it?" she said, closing the book.

"Oh sure," I said. _Not the word I would have used..._ "Thanks so much for your help. I really need to get home. If you want, I can bring you the paper when I'm done?"

"That would be great, I'd love to read it!" she said and smiled wide.

Charlie came home from fishing around three on Saturdays. Packing up my books and papers, I left the library in enough time to get home before Charlie did. I would have to cook fish when I got home. _Oh joy. _The truth is, I'm the daughter of a fisherman but I detest fish. As Old Faithful rumbled into my driveway, I could smell it. Charlie beat me home and had started frying his catch.

"Oh, my God, Dad!" I said, covering my nose and mouth with my hand. "Open a window or something!"

"You cook my fish all the time! What's the problem?" Charlie stood at the stove with tongs in his hand.

"When I cook it, I ease into the stink so I can handle it. I just got bitch-slapped with it when I walked in the door!"

Charlie's eyes got wide, and I realized that the word _bitch-slapped _was probably frowned upon.

"Sorry, Dad, it caught me off guard. I...I'm going to sit out back," I said and quickly walked out the back door.

"Yeah, alright." Charlie raised one eyebrow and didn't reprimand me for my language.

I sat out back in my lounger with my eyes closed and just listened. My backyard sounded so serene; the little animals in the trees scurried through the leaves while birds flew overhead, calling to one another. In the distance, I could hear people talking and laughing and little kids playing. They lived perfectly normal lives. Nothing about my life felt normal. I always felt out of step. Maybe that's another reason why I was so insecure.

_Hell, just add it to the list._

Edward hadn't called since he got back from being out of town with his brother. I wondered if he would show up tonight. I really missed him.

I fell asleep out back and when I woke up, the sun had almost set. My stomach protested its emptiness, so I walked into the back door to make something to eat. The smell had almost dissipated then. I could still smell the fish, but it wasn't nearly as strong. Grilled cheese and creamy tomato soup sounded best to me, so that's what I fixed.

Edward arrived early that night. Charlie hadn't gone to bed yet.

"Hi!" I whispered loudly. I couldn't hold back how happy I was to see him. "Charlie's not in bed yet."

"I know," Edward whispered loudly. "I couldn't wait to see you."

Wow, he couldn't wait to see _me! _I smiled big, so big my cheeks hurt.

Edward thought for a minute and said, "I'll be back in fifteen minutes, okay?"

"Oh. Okay. I'll come down when Charlie is asleep."

He nodded and left my back yard. I figured he went back to his car and wondered where he parked. It surprised me that none of my neighbors had reported a strange car in the neighborhood that late. They all knew Charlie was the chief of police.

I heard Charlie go into the bathroom and turn the water on.

_Good, he's brushing his teeth._

He turned the water off and flushed the toilet. I jumped in my bed and covered up in case he opened my door to check on me. My door creaked open for a second and then silently closed. I smiled under my quilt.

_Charlie was so predictable...so wonderfully predictable._

After fifteen minutes, I heard Charlie quietly snoring behind his door. I tiptoed downstairs and found Edward already seated on my porch.

"Good to see you, Bella," he said as he stood up and smiled. His smile made my thoughts turn to mush. We sat down on opposite ends of my wicker couch, facing one another.

"How was your trip? Which brother did you go with?" I asked. I knew so little about his siblings.

"I went with Emmett. We went hiking in the Colorado Mountains."

"Oh they are so beautiful! My mom and I went up to Colorado a few times, just to get out of town. We always had a great time." I sighed.

"You really miss her, don't you?" His eyes were lighter tonight, like a butterscotch color. I found it too easy to get lost in them.

"Everyday. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her and miss her. It's getting easier as time goes by; I don't cry as much." A wave of sadness washed over me, but it wasn't overwhelming.

"You're sad," he whispered.

"Sometimes." I wanted to change the subject. "So tell me about Emmett. Who's older?"

"He is. He's a great guy but can be _such_ a stuffed shirt at times," he said and laughed. "If I'm the brains, he's the brawn – although I don't want to give you the impression I can't hold my own. I most certainly can!"

_Ah, the male ego surfaces._

"Oh, of course. But you get along well?" Being an only child, I always found sibling relationships very interesting because they're so complex. From what I gathered, siblings crossed the love/hate line all the time.

"Yes, actually. We get along very well," he said. "What did you do while I was away?"

"Nothing much, really," I said and shrugged. "I have a mythology paper due the end of the month. I spent most of Saturday working on that."

"The Pacific-Northwest Legends." he asked.

"Yeah, wow, you have a great memory! I decided to go with one legend specifically, the Cold Ones. Have you heard of it?" I asked, eager to show off my new knowledge.

"Uh... no, I haven't." He sat up straight and appeared very interested. "Tell me about them." His eyes narrowed a bit and his jaw clenched.

"Well," I began, "apparently, they are called the Cold Ones because their skin is ice cold. They have this amazing superfast speed and they are really strong. They're, of course, pale because they can't go out into the sun or they'll die. In most of the legends I've read, the Cold Ones are women who prey on children, but I think it's just some superstition to explain infant mortality long ago or give some sleaze-bags an excuse for cheating!" I sat back with a silly grin on my face, happy to have educated him.

He sat perfectly still. So still, when I couldn't see his eyes, I thought he might be sleeping. "Edward?" I asked.

"Yes, Bella?" he answered quietly.

"Oh, I guess you didn't find it as interesting as I did." I felt foolish, silently berating myself for being so pompous.

"On the contrary, I did. Do you believe the legend?" he asked.

"Oh, of course not!" I laughed.

He gave me a half-hearted grin. "I'd love to read your paper when you're done."

"Okay."

* * *

**Day 14**

_February 12_

I called Charlie around ten a.m. from school. My nerves were a mess today, probably from lack of sleep and more excitement than I've had in awhile. I thought I was going to puke in Anatomy, which was ironic since we were discussing the digestive system.

"Hey, Dad," I said as he answered the phone at the station.

"Oh, hey, Bells. What's wrong?" He sounded concerned.

"Nothing, Dad. I just don't feel well; my stomach is upset. Would you tell the nurse I can go home?" I asked.

"Sure, Bella, sure. I'll meet you there. Can I pick something up for you, like, I don't know, Pepto, or Sprite, or anything?" he asked as I heard his chair from the other end of the phone squeak across the linoleum at the station.

"No, Dad, thanks. I'll be okay. Here's the nurse," I said and handed the phone to the bleached-blonde woman behind the desk.

I walked out to my truck and texted Angela to let her know I was going home. After she answered telling me to feel better, I started up Old Faithful and headed home. Despite my assurances to my dad that I was fine, when I turned the corner, there sat the police cruiser in my driveway. He must've sped like a bat out of hell.

"Hey, Dad," I called out as I opened the door. "You didn't need to come home."

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to check on you. Bev told me what to pick up for you." Bev was the dispatcher at the station. She was about Charlie's age and a motherly type. She tried to get close to me after I moved here, but I nixed that pretty quickly.

I opened the bag and saw that she told him to get the usual suspects: Pepto caplets, saltine crackers, and ginger ale. She thought of me often and I knew I should've been more kind to her. I just couldn't take mothering yet and, now that it'd been over a year and a half, wondered if I ever would.

"I think I'm just going to go lie down, Dad," I said. "But – thanks for coming to check on me, and for the stuff." I gave Charlie a one-armed hug, and he squeezed back.

"Well, now that I know you're okay, I'm going to go back to the station. Call me if you need anything, Bells. I mean it."

"Okay, Dad. Bye." I headed up to my room and changed my clothes into my treasured snowman-printed pants and t-shirt.

I lay down for a while, and thought about everything and nothing. My mind was like a T.V. set going haywire – constantly changing channels. Then, I remembered Angela's idea about writing a journal to my mom.

Inside my old oak desk, a one-subject yellow notebook sat next to my mom's memory box. I picked it up at the store after Angela mentioned it, but I was never sure if I would actually use it. After getting the notebook out, I sat at my desk and stared at it. It seemed silly, didn't it?

I opened the notebook, grabbed a pen, and wrote:

_February 12_

_Dear Mom,_

Now what? A year and a half of missing conversations with my mother, and now I couldn't think of anything to write. I agonized over it for a long time. What was the most basic thing I wanted to say to her?

_I love you, Mom. I really miss you._

My chest tightened. The tears flowed but no more words came, so I signed it:

_Love, Bella_

And I closed the notebook. It was a start. I lay back down and let myself cry. It felt good to cry, really cry, and feel the loss. I'd spent so much energy burying it, burying _her_ that I never allowed myself to feel. Maybe this journal would actually help. I cried myself to sleep and woke up around four o'clock.

Charlie arrived home around five o'clock, bearing a gut bomb from the local hamburger place and a quart of home-style chicken noodle soup with crackers for me. I grabbed my grandmother's quilt off my bed and headed downstairs to the couch. Soup in hand, and wrapped in the quilt, I ate and watched Sports Center with my dad. I felt content and secure as I looked over at Charlie, chomping down on his hamburger and fries. I stayed on the couch until nine and then kissed my dad's cheek before I went upstairs to bed. He put his hand on his cheek after I kissed it.

"Thank you, Bells," he said. We didn't show affection much.

I smiled at him. "Goodnight, Dad. Thanks for taking care of me today."

"I'm glad you're feeling better...sweetheart."

I smiled again and headed up the stairs, semi-wrapped in my quilt. I healed some that day.

* * *

**Day 16**

_February 14_

I woke up when my face hit the desk in my writing class. It made a nice slapping sound, which wouldn't have been so bad, but the "ARGH!" I yelled out capped my embarrassment. That and, of course, the drool.

"Miss Swan. May I suggest a cuddle with a teddy bear and a proper bedtime?" Mr. Beauregard said, without looking up from his desk. The class laughed, and I felt about an inch tall, but Angela just rolled her eyes and gave me a supportive grin.

"I'm sorry, sir, I haven't been able to sleep," I said, quietly. The late nights with Edward had started to take their toll on me. We talked until three o'clock most mornings for the last two weeks. I didn't know how he managed during the day, but I could barely form cohesive sentences and then crashed on the couch until Charlie got home late in the afternoon.

Mr. Beauregard settled the class down and reminded us that our writing assignment was due on February 23rd. When the bell rang, I got the hell out of there; I couldn't even stop to talk to Angela. I knew a panic attack was on its way and that I would relive all those eyes on me again throughout the night. I didn't feel safe in Old Faithful like I usually would've; I needed to get home.

I pushed Old Faithful to its maximum of fifty-five miles per hour. I pulled up in my driveway, threw open the driver's side door, and bolted into the house right before the hyperventilating started.

Angela pulled up fifteen minutes after I ran in the door. I heard the front door creak open and soft footsteps cross the living room. "Bella?" Her voice sounded concerned, if not worried.

I sat on the floor in the kitchen with my back leaning against the wall. I finally caught my breath, and then I just shook.

She found me there; her eyes were panicked until she saw that I was, for all intents and purposes, "okay."

"Hey, Bella," Angela whispered. "I'm here. It's okay." She sat silently next to me on the floor. She didn't have expectations; she just waited it out with me.

"Thanks," I whispered.

* * *

**Day 17**

_February 15_

Angela and I sat in the cafeteria for lunch the next day.

"Your dad doesn't know about your panic attacks, does he?" she asked.

"No. My dad wouldn't understand." Truthfully, he didn't know about the anxiety, and I saw no point in telling him. "Look, I have something to tell you that _might_ explain why I'm so tired lately."

Angela's eyes narrowed as she bit the inside of her lip. "Go on."

I averted my eyes and told her about Edward and about how we sat talking until three o'clock in the morning the past two weeks.

"Bella! Are you _serious_? _Really_?" she said, her voice going up a decibel or two before she finished the sentence. I looked around quickly and prayed she didn't draw any attention with her outburst. "Does your dad know?"

"Oh yeah, right! I'm sure he'd love to know that some guy is sitting on his porch, at all hours of the night, chatting it up with his daughter! He would totally overreact."

"Bella," Angela said, carefully choosing her words. "You need help. You have to tell your dad about what's going on with you. It's affecting your judgment."

"My judgment is just fine."

"It's just so _unlike_ you." Angela thought for a minute, "Has he tried anything with you?"

"No, not at all!" I felt appalled, although I didn't really know why. "We just sit on the wicker couch out there and talk. Nothing more."

Angela sighed, somewhat defeated. "I still think you need to talk to someone, Bella, like a doctor or psychologist; someone who can help."

"I know – I'm just not ready." I sat next to Angela, focused intently on my hands. I knew I needed help to get past this anxiety and uneasiness, but no one else knew the real cause of it, and I didn't know if I could go _there._

The doorbell rang around six-thirty that night and although I didn't know why, I got very nervous.

"Hello, Chief Swan, I'm Edward Cullen." I heard him from the kitchen and choked on my own spit.

"Hello, Edward. Say, are you related to Dr. Cullen down at Forks Memorial Hospital?" my dad asked. My dad knew most of the doctors, some because of my own lack of grace, and the rest from his job.

"Yes, he's my father," Edward answered.

"Well, how about that. Your dad's a good guy. Your family recently moved here from Alaska, right?"

"Yes, sir. Last August," Edward replied.

"Well, it's great to have you here. What can I do for you, Edward?" Charlie sat back down in his favorite chair and opened up another beer.

"Actually, sir, I came to ask Bella if she would like to go on a date tomorrow night – if that's okay with you, of course." Edward waited patiently as my dad tried to recover from shock.

_Oh, good God!_

"That's really up to her. _Bella_...!" Charlie yelled.

_Okay, Bella, fake it 'til you make it. _

I tried being nonchalant and walked in to the living room casually – without tripping and without appearing that I was having a seizure. "Hey, Edward. What's up?"

"Bella, I would like to ask if you would be interested in going to dinner with me tomorrow night." Edward was a formal gentleman; I was an uncoordinated goof.

"Uh, yeah, that would be great," I said, taking a stab at acting natural again.

"Wonderful. I'll pick you up at six then." Edward turned to Charlie, smiling. "Pleasure to meet you, Chief Swan."

"Likewise," Charlie answered, his eyes narrowed.

With that, Edward-the-Greek-God turned on his heel and left.

"Well, guess you got a date, huh? You know, I should have known that he was Cullen's boy. They're both pale as hell." Charlie sat back in his chair and put ESPN on the T.V. The conversation was over, and that was fine by me.

I lay in bed that night while I waited for Edward, and I had the strangest feeling – a revelation, of sorts.

_He's The One._

WHAT?

How could I possibly_ know _that? I didn't even know if I loved him! I didn't believe in "The One" idea, anyway. One person in the whole world is meant for you, and you have to find him? That was ridiculous. It really sucked for you if your _One_ was a tribesman in Africa and you weren't! No, I was too logical for that.

But I knew it anyway. And it didn't make me happy.

* * *

**Day 18**

_February 16_

Edward showed up at my door promptly at six o'clock on Friday night. _Oh, great. I'm always late, and he's as punctual as a Swiss cuckoo clock._ Scared as hell, I managed to get ready by six, anyway. I meticulously curled my hair into thick waves that hung gently past my shoulders and wore a favorite royal blue wrap around top with a basic black skirt. I even went so far as to add brown eyeliner to my usual makeup routine. Looking in the mirror after I finished getting ready only confirmed my fear – I would look like the ugly duckling next to him.

Edward stood in my living room and his eyes lit up when he saw me. Even in a simple dark green sweater with tan khaki pants, he stopped my heart for a second. He laughed a little and ushered me gently out of the door. _Thank God._ The interrogation would come if we lingered around too long. I'm sure it pleased my dad when he saw Edward open the door of his silver Volvo for me. Guys didn't do that anymore.

"You look beautiful, Bella," Edward said, as he backed out of the driveway and then put the car in drive.

I giggled softly. "I clean up okay," I paused. "And you look great, as always."

Edward turned back to the road and sat silent for a moment. "You don't take compliments well, do you?"

"I guess not," I said quietly, fidgeting. "I know I need to work on that. Sorry."

He smiled and shook his head lightly. We were quiet for the rest of the drive to the restaurant, listening to the Dave Matthews Band's first CD. _Not bad._

We drove up to an Italian restaurant in Port Angeles – Café Bella. I laughed hard at his deliberate planning. "Very cute, Edward."

"Down to the last detail." He smirked.

"I see that," I said, nodding my approval.

In a second, Edward opened the car door for me, and I stepped out of the Volvo.

"Unfortunately, I can't eat here, but I've gotten the impression you like Italian food."

"Well, yeah, but...I feel terrible that you can't eat with me. Let's go somewhere you can eat." I turned to get back into the car, and he stopped me.

"I'm on a very... specific diet. I can't usually eat at restaurants, but it doesn't mean I don't like to _dine_."

His eyes bore into mine as he smiled that amazing smile. My whole body tingled, and my mind turned to Jell-O.

_What was the problem again?_

"That's nice," I said and walked up the steps to Café Bella.

Café Bella felt like a dream. Deep red fabric hung gracefully from the ceiling and separated each table for privacy. I adored the flickering hearth made of Sicilian stone that caught my attention immediately.

"This is really beautiful, Edward. The fire is so calming." Edward pulled out my chair as I sat at a small, intimate table tucked in the corner. He sat next to me and watched me, making me very uncomfortable and self-conscious. My hands began to fidget under the table. "Please stop watching me like that," I whispered.

"I'm sorry. I'm making you uncomfortable. That's exactly what I _didn't_ want to do." He gently shook his head and sighed.

I smiled. "That's okay." I could make it through this.

"So, what would you like to eat?" Edward asked, looking at the menu as though it was written in Chinese.

"Um, I really like cheese ravioli," I thought out loud. I remembered then what Edward said in the parking lot. "Are you sure you can't eat here? I really hate eating alone."

"I truly wish I could, Bella. But if I did, no doubt, I would end up getting sick later," Edward said. "Don't worry, I ate before I came. I'm just glad to be here with you."

"Thanks," I said, softly.

The waitress came to our table with plates and silverware. "Hello," she said to Edward, not me. "What can I get for you tonight?"

"Two cokes, and Bella would like the three-cheese ravioli. Would you like a salad, Bella?" Edward asked. I was so stunned that he ordered for me I almost missed the question.

"No, thank you," I answered.

"Okay, she'll just have the ravioli, please." Edward barely gave the waitress two glances.

"Sure thing," she said as she left the table, grumbling.

"I think she wanted your attention," I said with a laugh.

He shrugged. "I'm with you," he said. It was such a simple statement that could mean so many different things. This was a date, so did that mean we were officially _dating?_ All of these steps and phases gave me a headache. I nodded, having no idea what to say, anyway. We sat quietly, admiring the restaurant's interior. My ravioli arrived quickly and saved me from the awkward moment.

"Bella, I'd like to ask you a question." He folded his hands on the table and waited.

I struggled to swallow my bite. "Okay, what?"

"I'd like to know if you see us as 'exclusive.'" He looked down at his folded hands and held his breath.

Thank God I got that bite down, or it would have come up, shot across the table, and hit him in the face.

_Damn, I hated these moments._

"Well," I put down my fork and took a drink of my coke. I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. _Balls out, Bella. _"I don't want to see anyone else." There, I said it. Why did he ask me this? Did he want to date someone else and was making sure we weren't exclusive? My stomach tightened as I braced for impact.

His shoulders relaxed, and he smiled wide. My heart leapt at his reaction. He made me feel so... normal. I smiled in return. "I don't either, Bella. I've become very fond of you."

I realized then how much I cared about whether he was in my life or not. I fought my revelation, but was it possible that it was true? It all happened so fast. How many days had it been since I met him?

"Really?" I wondered why? What was so special about me?

"Yes." He nodded.

"Well, that's...cool."_ Oh, that sounded dumb._

Edward's laugh sounded almost musical. Just being around him helped me manage the anxiety, though, I couldn't help but notice how he caught every single female's attention that passed by. We needed more than fabric for our privacy; we needed a concrete block wall.

After paying the check, he asked if I would like to walk around the circle of shops nearby. They were all closed then, but the walk sounded nice.

"That sounds great. By the way, thank you for dinner," I said, rather shyly.

"My pleasure." He smiled; I melted. "It's always a pleasure when I can be near you."

Edward offered me his arm, and I took it gratefully. I really loved his gentlemanly style. The men my mom dated, including the last one she married, lacked this – what would you call it? Kindness? Respect?

"I know what you mean," I whispered under my breath.

Edward turned to me and gripped my upper arms, suddenly serious and intense. "Do you?" His expression was vaguely familiar.

"I...I think I do." The question held more depth than the surface reflection let on, yet I didn't know how deep the water was, or if it was water at all and not quicksand. Edward's eyes narrowed briefly, and I felt his grip on my arms relax as he took a deep breath. We really needed to work on his mood swings.

"Good," he said and kissed my forehead. I jumped when his mouth touched my skin.

"Oh, wow, that's so cold! It was like an ice cube!" I held my forehead and laughed.

"Yeah, I have a circulatory disorder. It, uh, makes my extremities very cold."

"Oh, I'm sorry, and I just laughed! That was totally insensitive of me!" I could feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

Edward smiled and shook his head. "Come on. Let's get this show on the road."

We walked slowly, quietly whispering comments about what we saw in the shop windows. I couldn't help it when my mind wandered again to my revelation a few nights ago. I lost my breath when my mind simply wandered to him; my skin tingled when he was near. I didn't understand the connection between us.

But I did, indeed, love Edward Cullen.


	4. Truth Will Set You Free

Rachel Love

* * *

**Three Days**

_What could you accomplish in three days?_**  
**

* * *

Chapter 3

The Truth Will Set You Free, but First It Will Piss You Off

* * *

_**Special thanks to PTB for great comments and their expertise._

_**Very special thanks to Chattgirl4 who gives awesome advice! _

_**Please Review. This is my first fanfic and all helpful comments are appreciated!_

_**Twilight = Stephenie Meyer. Twilight ≠ Me._

* * *

**Day 23**

_February 21_

Charlie and I sat at our old dining room table for dinner. Wednesday nights were pretty quiet – nothing good on t.v. This was usually my reading night and I had a great book to read by Jane Evanovich.

"You're still seeing that Edward guy, right?" Charlie asked, completely out of the blue.

"Yeah, I am," I said, carefully examining my vegetable soup.

_Yep, this is the most interesting vegetable soup I've ever seen._

"You never bring him over; invite him to dinner tomorrow night. We'll order pizza." Charlie scooped up big spoonful of soup in his mouth, followed by a chunk of cheesy, delicious, fattening garlic bread.

_Hey, at least he's eating the vegetable soup. _

"Edward has a very specific diet he has to follow. I doubt he can have pizza, but I could ask him to bring something he can eat. I've offered to make him food, but he always refuses." I shook my head. I guess Edward felt like he was putting me out to make him dinner.

"Yeah, do that. Maybe you guys can eat dinner with me and then go to a movie or something," he mumbled.

"Yeah, I'll ask him. Sounds fun." I got up and put my bowl in the sink. I don't know if I'd call it "fun," but it was nice that Charlie wanted to get to know him.

After I cleaned up the kitchen, I drudged up the stairs for a hot shower and a nap before Edward came. The hot water felt like heaven on my shoulders and neck. I carried most of my stress there, and the shower was my haven; I could relax.

I slipped into my towel and crossed the hallway to my room. After throwing on my sweat pants and a t-shirt, I set the alarm on my phone for eleven forty-five p.m., got under my grandmother's quilt, and fell asleep quickly.

My alarm woke me out of a dead sleep. I didn't dream, which was really nice. My dreams had gotten really weird recently. Light from the full moon shone into my window like daylight almost. A storm was coming in – my favorite kind of night.

I opened the window and waited for Edward...and watched the clouds. Suddenly, he appeared under my window.

"Good evening, Bella," he whispered.

"Hi! I'll be right down." I opened my door and quietly tiptoed downstairs.

I opened the porch door for him and we sat on the old wicker couch. He sat down close to me.

"May I?" he asked, gesturing he wanted to put his arm around me.

"Yeah." I smiled. _God, he makes me feel good._ "So, what did you do today?"

"I had class, of course, and then headed down here to the hospital to see the kids," he answered. "How about you?"

"What kids?" I asked, confused. He never said anything about children.

"I volunteer at my Dad's hospital," he said quietly. "I visit the sick and dying kids, especially if there are orphans on the floor. We play cards, tell jokes, and laugh a lot." His eyes brightened up as he spoke about the kids. "I can relate to them."

I sat awestruck. What a smart, beautiful, kind and sincere person. How on earth did I deserve him? "I'd like to go with you sometime... if you don't mind the company, that is." I bit my lower lip and took a deep breath. "That's amazing."

"Shucks, not really. I can relate is all."

I wanted to laugh at his use of _shucks_, but the topic didn't give me much room for humor. "It's just so sad," I whispered.

He sighed. "Ain't that the truth? One boy I had gotten close to died last week. His parents died in a car accident coming to get him from a Seattle hospital six months ago. I spent a lot of time with him. I think he died because he lost hope." His face fell as he took a deep breath in and held it. "So let's get off this topic."

"Okay. Um, Charlie invited you over for dinner tomorrow night. I told him about your diet and I told him you would _never_ let me cook for you," I said, playfully. "Maybe you could bring something and at least eat with us?" I sat, eyes wide, hopeful he would say okay.

"Yes, that sounds like fun," he said and nodded. Then he smiled and I lost all cohesive thought.

"Great." I smiled.

"Come here, Bella," he said, and patted his lap.

_What?_

"I'm not going to sit on your lap, Edward." My brows furrowed as a frown crossed my face.

"No, that's not what I meant," he laughed, "just rest your head on my lap."

"Um, o-kay." I felt unsure about what his motives were, but I trusted Edward.

Completely.

As I lay my head on his lap, facing outward, I felt his cold fingers gently massage my scalp and play softly with my hair. All the anxiety and stress of the day – hell, the month, even – melted away in his cold, strong but gentle hands.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too, my Bella."

_MY Bella. _

Lost in thought, I jumped when Edward did. "Sit up!" he whispered sternly.

I sat up and thirty seconds later, the back door opened.

"What the hell is going on here?" Charlie didn't usually raise his voice. I jumped when he shouted and all that Edward had accomplished vanished.

"Dad! Nothing!" I yelled back.

Edward stood up. "Nothing, sir, we are just talking. I realize it's inappropriate and I apologize. But I give you my word that this is completely innocent."

"Yeah? So why aren't you inside?" Clearly suspicious, Charlie widened his stance and crossed his arms, glaring at Edward in the moonlight.

"We simply didn't want to wake you, Chief Swan." Edward spoke gently.

Charlie's eyes shifted between Edward and me. My hands began to shake violently and all I could do was to sit on them so Charlie wouldn't notice.

"Fine," Charlie answered. "Just talk inside. I don't care if you wake me up. It's too damn cold for you two to be out here all hours of the night."

"Yes, sir." Edward nodded once.

"Alright, so get in here." Charlie turned around, resigned, and went in. I think he still felt suspicious, but he didn't say anything.

Edward held the door open for me and followed me in, his hand on the small of my back. My insides still shook from Charlie's outburst.

"You okay?" Edward whispered.

I nodded and knew I would be soon.

"Try not to be such a bundle of nerves. Whatever happens, Bella, I will take care of you," he whispered. I really didn't know how to take that, so I just nodded. "Come on, let's sit on the couch. Put your head back on my lap."

I did as he said and rested my head back on his lap. He massaged my head and shoulders tenderly until I fell asleep.

* * *

**Day 24**

_February 22_

I woke up in my bed as my alarm blared. I didn't remember going to bed, and as I pulled the quilt off, I realized I lay there completely dressed.

_Did Edward put me in here?_

_He must have._

The idea felt both romantic and creepy, all at the same time. I got out of bed and hurried to the cold bathroom. The pipes rattled as I turned the hot water on full force and began to get out of my clothes.

I stepped into the dated mint green shower and let my mind go blank. It felt good to be in the shower and relax into the water. After soaping up my hair, I cleaned every inch of me meticulously. I guess if my mind is blank, the anxiety has to go somewhere. Shampooed, soaped, scrubbed and loofahed, I stepped out from the shower into the steamy bathroom. Then I brushed my teeth quickly and slipped quietly into my room to get dressed for school.

I pulled into the school parking lot early that morning. The school day passed quickly since my mind was elsewhere.

The doorbell rang at exactly six o'clock. I quickly walked, stumbling as I went, to open the door. I tried to act natural, but I pretty much looked like I was having a seizure.

"Good evening, Bella." Edward's eyes softened and he grinned wide.

_Dear God, help me._

"Hi, Edward. Come in." He kissed my forehead and came inside carrying flowers.

"For you, Bella," he murmured. A shy, crooked smile crossed his face. I beamed at him. I knew that he was trying to impress Charlie...and I loved it.

"Thank you, Edward!" I took the flowers gratefully and headed to the kitchen with Edward following me. "Oh," I turned around, "where's your dinner?"

"I was in such a hurry to get here on time and really wanted to get you flowers, I ran out of the house without it," he said, laughing.

"Edward, we can wait. Why don't you and Bella run by your house and get it?" Charlie offered, wiping off his hands with a towel.

"No, no. I live pretty far away and I'm not hungry enough to go get it. I really do not want to hold up your dinner. Let me visit with you while you eat, if you don't mind." Of course he would be a gentleman and swoon my father. How could I pester him in front of my dad if he was going to be so damn charming? I shot him a very pissed off look, but he just winked at me.

Dad and I ate mushroom and onion pizza while Edward talked sports with my dad. You would have thought Edward knew my dad very well, the way he laughed and joked with him. He said all the right things, and asked all the right questions. I'd heard that girls chose guys to marry who, subconsciously, remind them of their father.

_Maybe there's something to that... _

When it was time for Edward and me to head out, my dad walked us to the door.

"Thank you for having me over, Chief Swan. I had fun," Edward said.

"You're welcome. Uh...don't be a stranger." Charlie mumbled.

"I won't, sir."

"Okay – you guys be good. Don't be out too late." Charlie warned.

Edward opened the door for me. "Okay, Dad... Bye," I called, and ducked into the Volvo. Edward closed my door, and then got in the driver's side.

"Where are we going?" I asked, adjusting the temperature on the passenger side.

"Wait and see." The glimmer in his golden eyes and the mischievous grin on his beautiful face scared the _hell _out of me.

"Not the best thing to say to the girl with the panic attacks..." I said, under my breath.

Edward laughed. "Maybe not. Do you trust me?" He turned his face to me with one eyebrow cocked.

"Well...yeah...in theory," I claimed.

"Okay then." With one nod, he turned his face back to the road. I sunk back into my seat and tried not to pay attention to his maniacal driving. After a few minutes, we pulled into the back of Forks High, right by the gym.

"Uh...what are we doing here?" I asked and didn't know if I really wanted the answer. He got out and quickly opened the door for me, with a black duffle bag in hand.

What. The. Hell.

I guess I eyed the bag too long. He laughed, and whispered, "It's a CD player. Relax."

_Oh, yes, that makes perfect sense! On a Thursday night, next to the gym, with a CD player. I feel like I'm playing Clue... 'Colonel Mustard, in the Library, with the candlestick.'_

"Sure, sure. CD player. Of course," I said, rolling my eyes.

He just chuckled and walked up to the ladies' locker room window. He opened it with just his fingers and reached out to me.

"Come on, Bella."

"Are you _INSANE_? I am the _POLICE CHIEF'S DAUGHTER!_ I can't break into the gym!" I looked at him incredulously.

_Seriously_?

"Trust. Me." He sat there, arms held out, waiting to help me through the window.

_SIGH._

"So help me God, Edward, if we get caught, I will throw you under the bus so fast –_"_ I threatened.

"Fair enough. I _promise _you no one will know." I took his hand and slipped through the open window to a bench below. I stood shaking on the red-vinyl-padded, locker room bench. I couldn't move. Suddenly, I felt Edward's cold hands guide me down. He sat with me while I tried desperately to get a hold of myself.

"Bella, you will never conquer this if you don't face it head on," Edward whispered. "Life is all about making memories, and I don't want your memories to be clouded by this...by whatever has brought you to this."

He was right – I knew he was. But I didn't know the way out of it.

"Will you help me?" I whispered.

"I already am," he said as he stood up. "Come with me." He offered me his hand, and I wrapped both of my hands around his one. We walked down the dark hall of the locker room, CD player in hand, and unlocked the steel door to the gym.

The sound of the heavy door opening and closing echoed in the dark corners of the gym. Square skylights perfectly aligned along the high ceiling gave the gym just enough light to make my way around, but nothing more. What light there was shined like columns down the court.

Edward plugged in the CD player and music echoed in the gym.

River Flows In You by Yiruma. Beautiful.

I stood in the middle of the gym, careful to stay out of the columns of light. I was still sick to my stomach, but I vowed I would keep my dinner down and not let the panic in me control this moment.

_One moment at a time, Bella._

"Dance with me...Bella." He walked to me and held out his hands again. I wanted to so badly, but I was a clumsy goof with barely enough coordination and balance to walk.

"I...I can't dance." I looked down. "I don't know how."

"Two left feet, hmm? Please don't be offended. No worries." He stood there, still with his arms out, and waited for me to take them.

I stepped in and put my hands in their proper place. At least I knew that much. He laughed and picked me up and set me down on top of his feet. "Oh good grief, doesn't that _hurt?_"

"Not at all. In fact, this is heaven," he murmured.

_Heaven. Dancing with me._

We danced quietly, for I don't know how long. My left hand rested on his shoulder, he held my right up and off to our side. When my left hand slid to where his neck and his shoulder met, I was shocked; his neck was freezing cold, too. I understood about his hands and feet, but his neck too?

I said nothing about it. It didn't matter, and besides, he was right; this was heaven.

"Bella?" he whispered.

"Hmm?" I looked up from resting my head on his chest.

"May I kiss you?" he asked.

I couldn't help but smile. "Do you always ask?" I whispered.

"I don't know. I mean, I've never been in this situation, but I assume the answer would be no... I just wasn't sure." He bit his lower lip.

"Yes," I whispered and stood still in the column of light from the skylight.

I kept my eyes locked with his until he got so close and I closed them. I didn't want to look cross-eyed at him; that wouldn't be romantic at all.

His kiss was gentle, but I couldn't call it warm. In fact, it was ice cold. His mouth was hard, like wood or stone. He let go of my right hand and wrapped it, too, around my waist, pulling me toward him. The energy between us felt overwhelming – mind-numbing, even. They say in books that knees get weak. I always thought it was a metaphor.

It wasn't.

My hands rested on his shoulders, stuck in that one place. I thought sure my legs were going to give out. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair. I wanted to feel the hard, chiseled muscles of his chest and back that were hinted at through his shirt. But I couldn't move. I just couldn't.

He broke our kiss and left me panting, putting his forehead to mine. "Wow," he whispered.

"You felt that, too?" I asked between breaths.

"Most definitely."

Suddenly, my stomach fell and my shoulders hunched over slightly. I felt exposed. Edward must have sensed my crash because he held on to my arms and whispered, "Fight it, Bella. Don't let it control you. Fight it."

"I...I can't, Edward."

"Bella...this isn't just because of your mother passing, is it?" he whispered. "Someone hurt you, didn't they?" He gazed into my face, searching my soul. But that was tucked away, far away, hidden in the depths of a dungeon.

I nodded once. He wrapped his arms around me, ever so gently.

"Let's go," he whispered as he guided me to the door.

* * *

**Day 25**

_February 23_

Friday was my favorite day of the week; the weekend was coming and so was sleeping in, goofing off and maybe even a date with Edward. Most of my classes were just going through the motions. Seniors had "senioritis" and were too excited for spring break to focus on anything in particular.

The day dragged on, like a bad movie or a day in a doctor's office. I thought I would lose my mind in American government and by anatomy, I seriously thought about crossing my eyes and strumming my lips while humming. I guess I had senioritis, too.

_Please, please, please get on with it!_

Writing was the only class that didn't bore me to pieces that day. It was February 23rd and my "Pacific-Northwest Legends" paper was due. Mr. Beauregard walked from desk to desk collecting papers and talking to each of us about our chosen topics. My feet bounced and my chest tightened as he came closer to my desk. As tall and lanky as he was, he glided gracefully in between the tight rows of desks.

"Miss Swan," he began, picking up my paper. "'The Cold Ones'. I don't remember that on our lists of topics." His voice sounded almost as if he was teasing, but the look he had on his face was clearly stern and suspicious.

My hands fidgeted underneath the desk. "I chose 'Pacific-Northwest Legends' but that was too broad, so I narrowed it down to the evil legends and then, specifically, 'The Cold Ones.'" My insides shook as I felt his eyes scrutinizing me.

"I see. I look forward to reading your paper, Miss Swan. See me after class." Mr. Beauregard moved on to the girl behind me, but my mind raced about what he wanted after class.

_Did I do something wrong? Was he going to keep me from graduating?_

_Don't get sick. Don't get sick._

Class ended and I crossed the dreary classroom with frazzled, fear-stricken nerves.

"You wanted to see me, Mr. Beauregard?" I said, trying to hide my discomfort.

"Yes, Bella," he said, using my first name for the first time this year. "I'd like to know what your opinion is of the legend, 'The Cold Ones.'"

"Um," I began, "I think it was just a silly superstition, just a way to explain infant mortality back then, giving sleaze-bags an excuse to cheat." I'd never been at Mr. Beauregard's desk. It was meticulously organized, not a pencil out of place.

"That makes sense, really." He flipped his pencil over his fingers so fast I couldn't keep up with it. "Okay, Miss Swan, you are dismissed." He turned his back to me and began to write notes on the white board behind him. I still didn't really know what he wanted, but since he dismissed me, I left gladly.

Familiar clouds crept in to cover the sky as the temperature dropped. I walked out of school, hopped into Old Faithful, and went to start it up when my phone rang.

"Hi, Angela!" We didn't spend much time together anymore. She poured through brochure after brochure of colleges, mostly Ivy League universities.

"I need to get away from this crap. Want to meet somewhere?" She sounded frazzled, if not a little psychotic, like a dodo bird on speed.

"Sure, sure. Where do you want to meet?" I turned the key, and Old Faithful roared to life.

"I need chocolate ice cream, and I need it now," she replied. I almost laughed, thinking that she was being sarcastic. She wasn't.

"Oh, I have some in my freezer; come to my house."

"On my way."

I pulled up to my house with Angela right behind me. "Hi," I said. She didn't talk to anyone in class today. Even in Writing, she barely said anything to Mr. Beauregard when he approached her desk. Unlocking the door, I opened it and let Angela in first. She threw her bag in a chair and headed straight for the freezer.

"Chocolate Trinity. Oh, Bella, you're my hero." She pulled the container out of the freezer and a spoon out of the drawer. I went to grab a bowl, but when I saw she'd already dug into the half-gallon, I grabbed my own spoon out of the drawer and went to sit down with her. She ate that ice cream like it was her last meal. Gently, I set my spoon down and waited.

_I might lose a finger if I try to claim any of that. _

"Bella, I can't take it! My parents are obsessed about this whole college thing! My mom wants me to stay close, but my dad wants me to go to an Ivy League school. They bicker about it constantly – little jabs here and there. Mom accuses him of pushing her 'baby' out the door, and Dad accuses her of holding me back. It's insane. Like twenty years down the road, any of this will matter!" She dug back into the ice cream.

"I'm sorry, Angela," I said, unsure of what to say. I guess it was a catch-22 in any case.

_You long for your freedom, but you want the security of your home, too. And you can't have it both ways._

"I don't want to disappoint my dad, but I don't want to hurt my mom. I have to choose, and it _really_ sucks." Angela sighed and hung her head.

"Yeah, I'm sure it does." My heart fell for Angela. I didn't have to worry about choosing, but I bet it would be very hard to do.

She sighed, pushing away the container of ice cream. "It just seems so petty, so small, in the grand scheme of things."

"Sure. What do _you_ want to do? Where do _you_ want to go?" I asked, softly.

"I don't know. That's just it. I'm so undecided that I really could use my parents help, but it's like _War of the Roses_ in there."

I really longed for an epiphany, some little nugget of wisdom that would help Angela.

I didn't have one. She meant a lot to me, and I wished to God I could help her; she helped me so much. But, sometimes there is nothing to say, no nugget of wisdom to make it all better. Sometimes, the greatest gift you can give someone is to physically just _be_ there.

_Dear Mom,_

_Things are changing quickly now. I'm still not sure what to do after high school. I applied to a few schools in Seattle, to stay near Dad. I know you would be appalled – Forks was never your favorite place, but it has become home to me._

_Oh – I have a boyfriend now. His name is Edward, and he is unlike anyone I have ever met. I actually met him in the driveway, of all places! He's kind and so smart. He has a great family that he loves, and he adores his mom. I remember you told me to watch for that. Mom, he leaves me speechless. I feel a little lost in this relationship and I wish you were around to help me. Truthfully, I feel that he's too good for me. I'm terrified to say that to him for fear he hasn't realized that yet and would then say, 'Oh, sorry, Bella. I didn't see that before, but I do now. Goodbye.' Okay, that sounded lame, but you get the idea._

_I miss you, Mom._

_Love, Bella_

I wrote to my mom pretty regularly now. I still missed her, but every entry in my journal got me one step out of the devastation. Eventually, I would just miss her and treasure the memories, rather than them crippling me.

The clock read eleven-thirty; Edward would be here soon. I quietly slipped out of my room and across the hall to listen at Charlie's door. After I heard his soft snoring, I tiptoed downstairs and quietly opened the back door to wait for Edward. Sloppy, squishy footsteps crossed my backyard, and I turned to greet my Edward. However, as he got closer, I didn't see Edward crossing my yard, I saw the man from the tree line last fall.

_Or was it? Oh my God, that couldn't be!_

"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked as he entered the porch, concern written along the chiseled features of his face.

"You're him! He's you! That...that was YOU!" I stuttered.

Edward stopped and towered in front of me, his shoulders squared and his jaw tight. "What are you talking about, Bella?" he asked. His tone was weird, as if he dared me to say it.

"You...are the guy...at the tree line...last fall," I said slowly, letting it sink in. I looked into his eyes; they were jet black. A hard black. "You...you paced at the tree line, and then as fast as lightning, you ran away. Why didn't you say anything? Why did you wait four months to come back? How did you run so fast? And _what _was _wrong_ that night?"

He lowered his chin to his chest, although he kept his eyes intently focused on mine. "Bella, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh bullshit, you do so! Don't play this with me! That was you!"

"Bella, I don't know what you're talking about. No, Bella, it wasn't." He carefully over-enunciated each word.

"Yes, you it was." I _enunciated_ right back.

"Seriously, Bella, I don't. And furthermore, if you saw a man in your yard, you should have called the police." He lowered his voice to a patronizing tone. "Didn't you say you have very vivid, strange dreams?"

_I'm not crazy, jackass. I know what I saw._

"Look, Edward, I'm done playing this game. We both know that guy was you." I stomped my foot a lot like a three year old would have.

"Well, if you are going to be so obstinately and completely insane, I think I'll take leave." He turned to walk away and I grabbed his ice cold arm.

"Wait," I cried and felt desperate for him to stay. "Look, I don't care. I'm not afraid. I just wondered about you. I...I watched out my window for weeks for you to come back. I'm just...curious."

"Bella, I have to go. I'll see you later," he said as he snatched his arm out of my grasp. The sound of fast, squishy footsteps filled my back yard. Then nothing.

_What the HELL was that?_

What was the big deal, anyway? I mean, sure, the guy at the tree line – Edward – looked spooky, but it was just the scene: the moonlight and the leaves newly missing off the trees. Anyone would look creepy in that those circumstances.

* * *

**Day 26**

_February 24_

It was a typical Saturday morning at my house. At six a.m., I woke to hear Charlie getting ready to go fishing, but it was entirely too cold for me to set foot out of my bed. Then the door creaked quietly open before Charlie was about to leave.

"Hi, Dad," I whispered.

"Sorry, Bells, I didn't mean to wake you up. I just wanted to check on you before I left," Charlie whispered.

"Nah, you didn't really wake me up, I was just lying here," I mumbled.

He nodded. "Have a good day, Bells."

"Thanks, Dad, you too."

As I lay there cuddled up under my grandmother's thick quilt, I fell back to sleep. I always had these bizarre _Alice-in-Wonderland_ dreams if I fell back to sleep. That morning was no different. I was deep in a valley of mountains made of rock and granite. A tiger chased me through the valley, into a dense, dark forest. But he slowed and didn't try to catch me in the darkness. I stumbled blindly and felt my way though, anxious to have all of my senses back when I suddenly came upon a clearing of snow and ice. My shoes slipped on the ice as I scooted and slid as fast as I could, the tiger again nipping at my heels. Suddenly, it was no longer winter, but spring. Giant lily pads covered a slow-moving river. I took a step on a lily pad, but I didn't fall into the water. I took another step, and another, when I realized the tiger wasn't following me. He lay down on the bank and buried his head into his giant, furry paws to sleep. I followed the path in the densely packed forest. Some parts I could run through but others I had to crawl or climb. Trees began to fall in front of me, one right after another. In the distance, I saw a woodcutter, cutting down the trees that blocked my path. Infuriated, I climbed over each one, determined to keep going. I woke up as I approached five gigantic granite boulders.

"God, I hate those!" I jumped up out of bed and shouted out loud to no one. I rolled out of bed around eight a.m. and stumbled to the bathroom. The bright sun sent streaks of sunshine in the windows on this side of the house. The cold, crisp air leaked through the badly insulated bathroom walls and old window, smelling fresh and clean. New.

_A sunny day in Forks! I have a date with my lounger out back this afternoon._

My sock-covered feet padded down the hallway and into my room to get dressed. It was February and still bitter cold. I would never get used to this cold. Searching through my closet for something warm to wear, my phone vibrated on the nightstand, and I quickly stumbled over to get it. _Oh, guess who._

"Hello, Edward. Feeling better?" I answered the phone with a sarcastic tone. After he beat feet out of here last night, I wasn't sure I would hear from him this morning; I didn't know if I wanted to.

"Um, yes, Bella. Thank you. I apologize for how I left last night. What can I do to make it up to you?" he asked softly. I guess everything is new in the morning. _Especially perspective._

"Tell me what the hell happened."

"How about lunch?" he said, completely ignoring my answer.

"Oh sure. A lunch that I bet you can't eat!" I retorted, and quickly regretted the words. "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair."

"No...touché. I deserved that for last night. How about, _after_ lunch, I take you to meet my sister, Alice?" he asked. And just like that, he dangled something shiny in front of the idiot and I couldn't help but take the bait.

_He wants me to meet his family? Sure, I can do this...absolutely...no problem-o. _

"Okay, that would be...nice." Instantly, I thought I was going to faint. Meeting a guy's family was a milestone in a relationship. Butterflies did kamikaze missions in my stomach; I felt giddy about the milestone yet scared enough to jump in front of a Mack truck.

"Great. I will pick you up at your house at two. Bring an umbrella." Edward-the-enchanting instructed.

"Why? It's beautiful outside. Oh, wait a minute; did God call you with the up-to-the-minute weather forecast again?" I chided behind a giggle.

"Nah, he just sent a text this time," he laughed.

"Well, alright then." I laughed. "I'll see you at two. Bye," I said and hung up the phone gently.

_Alice. Alice. What did I know about Alice?_

Unfortunately, not that much.

Edward arrived in his very clean and organized silver Volvo and we drove to the mall. "We're meeting Alice at the mall?" I asked.

"This is Alice in her element." He laughed.

As we crossed the parking lot, I felt the all too familiar rise of panic and the possible rise of my stomach contents. I tried to breathe deeply and silently reassure myself that I could do this...I needed to get out of these shackles if I was going to live a real life. I felt the cold touch of Edward's hand as it gripped mine and lightly squeezed. He knew. He understood.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Of course. Was that too hard?" he asked.

"Was _what _too hard?"

"When I squeezed your hand. Was that too hard?" he asked again.

"No, it was fine." _And he calls me weird._

"Good. I'm new at this _boyfriend_ role. Although," he continued quietly, "I'm very much enjoying it." He lightly squeezed my hand again and shot a crooked, beautiful smile my way.

"Me too," I whispered. "Not boyfriend – the _girlfriend_ thing, I mean"

As we walked up to the door, I caught our reflections in the glass. My heart fell as I was reminded again that he deserved better than me. Edward opened the door for me and softly put his hand on my back, guiding me as we walked through the door.

"Hello!" A musical, little voice rang out from under a wooden gazebo in the atrium.

"Alice?" I whispered.

"Alice." Edward nodded.


	5. Just a Little 'Stitious

Rachel Love

* * *

**Three Days**

_What could you accomplish in three days?_**  
**

* * *

Chapter 4

I'm Not Superstitious, Just a Little 'Stitious

* * *

_**Special thanks to evelyn-shaye and Pastiche Lethe from PTB for their great comments and __chattgirl4 for amazing advice! _

_**This is my first fan-fiction. Please READ and REVIEW. All helpful comments are appreciated!_

_**Twilight = Stephenie Meyer. Twilight ≠ Me._

* * *

**Day 26**

_February 24_

I walked gingerly toward the gazebo, Edward's hand resting on the small of my back. As we approached, a musical voice called out my name.

"Bella!" A small, beautiful young woman danced across the short floor of the gazebo.

"Hello," I whispered.

"Oh my. Bella, your heart is racing!" Her eyes grew wide, when Edward abruptly cleared his throat, and a look passed between them.

_Wha...HUH?_

"I mean," Alice looked up and smiled sweetly, "Your cheeks are flushed; it was almost as if I could hear your heart racing. Don't worry, Bella. We're going to be great friends!" Her excitement gushed out of her, from the top of her short, spiky hair to the brand-name black flats she wore on her feet.

Edward groaned.

_This hyperactive pixie doll is wreaking havoc on my already fragile nervous system._

"Nice to meet you, Alice." I noticed then that she had the same unique eye-color as Edward – a golden amber color. And her skin was just as pale.

_Maybe I should move to Alaska. They'd think I was tan! Sweet._

"The pleasure is mine, Bella. So, what are you two up to today?" she asked as we sat down on the wooden bench. "You could go to a movie, or... Yes! Why don't you go meet Carlisle and Esme? They can't wait to meet you!"

"I'm not really sure what we're doing," I answered, turning to Edward.

Edward chuckled. "I seemed to have flipped out on Bella last night. I _hope_ to make it up to her," he said, and leaned toward me to nudge my shoulder. I couldn't help but roll my eyes and laugh a little.

"Edward," Alice chided. "You are terribly moody at times."

"Tell me about it." I laughed.

Edward quickly changed the subject with a not-so-subtle hint of sarcasm. "So what are _you_ doing today, _dear sister_?"

"Well, _I_ am shopping." She turned to me and sighed. "It's not New York or Milan, but...well, it is what it is, I guess." She shrugged. "Then later, I'm going to meet Jasper..."

Edward cleared his throat, again.

"...for dinner, of course." Alice furrowed her perfectly tweezed eyebrows towards Edward, and then turned her attention back to me. "I know you guys want to get going, so I'll leave you to go. Bella, it has been great meeting you! I'll see you in a couple days!" Her glistening smile was almost intoxicating.

_Whoa._

"It was nice to meet you, too." I smiled back to her. We stood up to leave when she leaned in to give me a hug. My shoulders fell inward, but I reached up with one arm anyway and lightly hugged his tiny sister. Her ice cold cheeks touched mine as she kissed the air next to them.

"Ciao!" she said, fluttering away.

"Wow. That was...interesting," I said, nodding gently. "Hey, Edward, does she have the same circulatory disease?"

"Oh...um, yes, she does. Carlisle is a specialist in the field. That had a lot to do with why he adopted us – we all have it." Edward focused on his feet and ran his fingers through his hair. "So where to next, my Bella?" He looked at me and smiled.

"I don't know; this is your show," I answered, smiling. I had already forgiven him, but I still wanted to know what had really spawned his little freak out. Part of me wished I weren't so sure about what I saw. Then the words Edward had said a few weeks ago suddenly came to mind:

"_There are some...oddities about me. I have secrets about my past that, honestly, I'm not ready to share yet. But I don't want to lose you, and I fear I might when you know."_

I was a walking tornado of live wires, secrets and insecurity. And he said _he's_ odd_?_

These little _oddities _that were popping up, though, gave me an eerie feeling. Sure, I was in love, enthralled, and dazzled by this charming, kind, and beautiful man – who spent time with dying orphans and had the patience of a preschool teacher with me. But I prayed this eeriness was more anxiety than intuition. It had been my experience that really good things came with very high price-tags.

Edward took my hand, and we walked out of the gazebo and into the atrium.

"Well," Edward thought for a second, "Would you like to see a show or go shopping?"

I shook my head. "Not really a shopping kind of girl. Let's go see what's playing at the movies."

As we passed the many little stores in the mall on our way to the movie theater, I was drawn to a particular store that carried scented soaps, shower gels, lotions and whatnot.

"Do you mind going in here?" I asked, as I pulled his hand toward the storefront. The scent coming from the open door reminded me of a blooming honeysuckle bush.

"Oh, I guess not," Edward said. His beautiful face scrunched up as he buried his nose into his shoulder.

"Really? Are you serious?" I gave him a look of incredulity and laughed.

"I have a very sensitive sense of smell!" he defended.

"Uh-huh," I mumbled, shaking my head. We walked through the little shop with Edward holding his breath.

_Alright, then._

When we walked out of the store, I heard him lightly breathe out. I chuckled and grabbed his hard, cold hand as we walked toward the movie theater.

We didn't say much as we walked down the long corridors of the mall breezeway. That was one of the greatest things about being with Edward – words weren't necessary. A simple smile, a cocked eyebrow or a little hand squeeze said everything that truly needed to be said.

I was lost in my own thoughts when Edward stopped suddenly, yoking me back like a tethered dog.

"A little warning, please!" I huffed.

Edward chuckled. "You are adorably goofy."

"And thank you for _that_," I said, shaking my head as I turned to walk in the other direction.

"Oh Bella, look, I'm sorry. I was thinking..." He paused, focusing on nothing. His jaw was clenched as he took a deep breath – either gaining courage or deciding whether he had to go to the bathroom before the movie started. "Let me take you to meet my parents."

_Oh damn. I was actually hoping for the other one._

"You're going to do this to me twice in one day?" I half-heartedly teased.

"It's good for you," he said, grabbing my hand to lead me back to the car.

"Really, Edward, I don't think I can handle..." I whispered, looking down at my feet.

_So much for the movies..._

We stopped at the exit doors, and Edward turned to face me. His eyes were compassionate as he gently smiled a beautiful, crooked smile at me. "You aren't alone, Bella. I'm here. And I will be with you until you tell me to leave. I'm in this for the long haul." I took a deep breath, nodded, and gripped his hand tighter. I could do this. So much for the sunny day; clouds had rolled in while we were in the mall.

We walked to his car – well, mostly he pulled me to his car – and he opened the passenger door for me to get in. My hands began to shake as he got in the driver's seat and started the car. By the time he drove out of the parking lot, everything was shaking.

I closed my eyes and rested my face in my hands, making a feeble attempt to get a hold of myself.

_Oh, that was the wrong decision._

Closing my eyes only worsened the nausea. When Edward turned the corner to a side street, I was glad because it was secluded – although it didn't matter much if it wasn't.

"Pull over!" I yelled, and threw open the passenger door. The car came to an abrupt stop just as I stumbled out and tossed my cookies into the ditch near the road.

Edward was by my side in an instant. "Oh my God, Bella, are you alright?" he asked, his voice panicked.

"Please go," I wretched, "Over there." I motioned to the other side of the car in between hurls. This wasn't my best moment, I hated that he had to see it, and was very grateful he did as I asked. When I was finished, I walked back to the car where Edward waited, while trying to check my clothes discreetly.

I should have paid more attention to where I was walking, although whether I pay attention or not has never helped before. As I got closer to the car, I stepped off a rock and fell, twisting my ankle pretty good.

As I sat on the ground cradling my ankle, Edward knelt down next to me in an instant. "Are you okay? That doesn't look good, Bella - I'm calling Carlisle." Edward whipped out his phone and dialed one-handed in one swift move. "Carlisle, I need to bring Bella in... yeah, she fell..." He winked at me. "Sure, I can do that... Esme?... yeah, I'm not sure we should..." I struggled to get up and walk to the car, but started to fall back down again. Then Edward, still talking to Carlisle, swooped me up one-handed and put me in the car. "...No she doesn't... Right. Okay, we'll see you in a few minutes."

Edward was in the driver's seat quickly. Too quickly. "Do you realize that you just picked me up with one hand and carried me?" I'm small, but I'm not _that_ small.

"Oh, yeah, I wasn't paying attention." He ran his hand through his hair and then started the car. "How's your stomach?" he asked with forced, unnatural curiosity.

_Oddities. _

"Better," I whispered. I bit my lower lip as I sat quietly, thinking. Now that I was paying attention, the oddities started to become more obvious to me. "You were awfully fast getting to me," I thought out loud.

"You think so?" he asked as he gripped the steering wheel tightly, staring straight ahead as he drove.

"Well, maybe it just seemed fast to me. I was a little distracted," I said, laughing, and felt more than a little dumb. I traced the smooth leather interior with my fingers while we sat in silence.

_You're a moron, Bella._

We arrived at the hospital in what had to be record time. Again he was at my door quickly and picked me up out of my seat.

"Okay, _really_? Is this necessary?" I fumed as he carried me into the E.R.

Edward laughed and answered, "Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. At least until we know if it's broken."

He put me down and went to talk to receptionist at the admittance desk. His smoldering eyes sent that poor woman for a whirl when he asked if Dr. Cullen could be paged.

"Oh...um...yeah, sure," the receptionist, obviously dazed, paged Dr. Cullen to the front desk. I found it bizarre that she didn't even ask who Edward was.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He was just as obnoxiously attractive as both Edward and Alice, with blonde hair, pale skin, the same amber colored eyes and dazzling smile.

"Bella, I presume?" he asked, smiling.

"Oh, um, yes, sir." I took a deep breath while nodding.

"Edward said you had a fall. We should get you to x-ray it just to be sure you didn't break anything." Dr. Cullen motioned for a nurse to grab a wheelchair and handed her orders for me to be x-rayed.

"I'm sorry I had to meet you like this," I said, so embarrassed I could feel my face flush.

"Think nothing of it," he said and smiled, then turned to Edward. "I'm finished with my shift in thirty minutes. When Bella is done, come by my office."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen, and um, if you wouldn't mind," I chuckled, half-heartedly, "Please don't mention this to my dad. He gets a little freaked out."

"If it's not broken, nothing will be said." He smiled. "And please, call me Carlisle."

"Thank you, Carlisle." I smiled back.

Edward wheeled me to the elevator and pushed the red button. As we waited for the painfully slow elevator, I heard Edward mumble to himself that he could have carried me up the stairs faster than this. I scoffed at the idea at first, but then...

_Could he have?_

That eerie feeling returned but subsided as we finally reached x-ray from the snail's-pace elevator.

"Are you nervous?" Edward asked.

"Oh, please. This is old hat to me!" I laughed.

When we went through the glass double doors, the young receptionist looked up. "Hey, Bella! What happened this time?"

Edward groaned. "_Of course_ they know you here."

"Hi, Rhonda, I twisted my ankle. I have orders here to have it x-rayed." I smiled and shrugged, waving my papers hello.

Rhonda just shook her head. "Hmm. For as much as you have spent at this hospital, they ought to put your name on a plaque downstairs as a contributor." She waved me back into the x-ray room.

I thought about the new state-of-the-art trauma center they were building, given to them by an anonymous donor. "Nah, but it would be cool if they named the new trauma center after me!" I giggled at my own joke.

"I'll put it in the suggestion box, kiddo." Rhonda laughed, and turned to Edward. "Thank you, sir; I'll take her from here." Rhonda went to grab my wheel chair, but Edward guided her hands aside.

"I have no problem taking her in," he said to her with an air of authority.

"It's okay, Rhonda, he's with me. This is Edward Cullen," I said, grinning.

"Ahh, I see. You're Dr. Cullen's son?" Rhonda asked Edward.

"I am. Pleasure to meet you, Rhonda." Edward nodded once. He gently picked me up out of the chair and put me on the x-ray table.

"Yeah, same to you. Actually I should have known right away that you're his son. You're both pale as hell." Then she reached for the lead apron to cover my torso and whispered to me. "And serious eye-candy, hmm, Bella?" She winked and I giggled.

Edward walked behind the glass wall to wait for me so I felt safe to answer. "_Very _serious eye-candy," I whispered, barely moving my lips, and giggled again. I noticed Edward behind the glass pinching the bridge of his nose, his lips being held tightly together to keep from smiling.

_Oh my God. Did he hear that?_

Rhonda walked behind the glass and pressed the buzzer to take the x-ray.

"Okay, girl, you're done. I'll send the results to Dr. Cullen in about fifteen minutes." She came around and took the lead apron off and hung it up on the wall. "Nice to meet you, Edward. Take care of our girl."

"Yes, ma'am." Edward helped me into the chair and wheeled me out of the room.

"Bye, Rhonda!" I called.

Once at the elevator, Edward pushed the red button.

"It's like waiting for the basket to be dropped down from the tree house, isn't it?" I sighed.

"Should I get you some _candy_ while you wait?" Edward snickered. My eyes grew wide as I felt my face flush.

_I bet my face is somewhere in the crimson family right now._

I opened my mouth to come up with some smart-ass comment, but I couldn't think of one, so I shut it and just boiled inside. Edward chuckled again.

We got to Carlisle's office just as he was getting off the phone. "Well, Bella, your ankle is not broken, so mums the word to Chief Swan." He smiled and turned to Edward. "Esme would very much like to meet Bella, Edward." He looked at Edward intently for quite a few seconds.

"Didn't Rose and Emmett come back from camping last night?" Edward asked, and raised his eyebrows.

_Why do I get the feeling like I'm the odd man out?_

"Ah. Yes, they did." Carlisle nodded.

"So, tonight is not the best night," Edward said, and I was pretty sure it was only for my benefit. "We'll introduce you to Esme soon, though." He whirled my chair around and gently touched my cheek. "I know you'll love her."

I smiled, since I had nothing to say, anyway.

"I really need to get Bella home to get some ice on this ankle. See you at home, Carlisle," Edward said as he went to turn my wheelchair.

"Great to meet you, Dr. Cullen. I mean, Carlisle." I smiled my sincerest smile, and felt grateful to be leaving. Carlisle was easy to meet – kind and easy going. I liked him; I didn't panic around him, and that was always a plus.

* * *

**Day 28**

_February 26_

_Dear Mom,_

_It's another rainy, slushy day here in Forks. I know you would be so surprised about that. Haha. I've been spending time with Dad watching volleyball now. The playoffs should be here soon. He's been teaching me the rules to different sports. Not to play, of course... that would be devastating. Just to watch. I think it makes him happy... He mentioned something about me going fishing with him... I told him not to push his luck. ;) It's nice to see him smile._

_I'm still dating Edward. I finally met his dad. He's a doctor working at the hospital. I can see where Edward gets his kindness and compassion from. If I weren't such a bundle of nerves, I would look forward to meeting his mom. I am, but the idea that she might think I'm not good enough for her son makes me want to throw up. Do you think I will ever get over this, Mom?_

_I'm nervous, though, Mom, and I don't know if I'm being irrational or not. These strange little things are coming up now. He has a special diet, he can't eat anything in front of me and he never, ever brings food he can eat. And he's really... fast... I mean, REALLY fast. Before I can blink, he's there. I turn in my seat and he's opening the car door for me. At first I thought it was just me and my screwed up sense of time, but I've been paying more attention lately. Add to that his circulatory disease. I don't know, Mom – my instinct is kicking in saying something is not right. Truthfully, this instinct is killing my skeptical side.  
_

_I love you and miss you tons,_

_Bella_

I closed my notebook and ran into the bathroom to get ready for school. Edward had been on my mind most of last night; that gut instinct kept my mind racing.

Edward didn't come everyday to take me to school. He had classes on Monday and Wednesday in Port Angeles, so I didn't see him on those days. I missed him.

_A lot._

I was stunned when I walked outside to get into Old Faithful for school. Alice stood by my truck. She smiled at me with her yellow Porche parked behind my truck.

"Good morning, Bella! Edward asked me to take you to school today," Alice chimed, her voice sounding like a perfectly tuned harp.

"That's nice of you, but you didn't have to do that," I mumbled. "My truck works just fine."

Alice walked back to the driver's side door, obviously expecting me to follow her. "Edward thinks it's a death trap," she said, off-handedly.

_Edward, you're such an ass! My truck would clobber your stupid Volvo any day, buttmunch! _

I accepted Alice's offer to take me this morning – mostly because I wanted to make a good impression with her, but also because I wondered what information I could get. So I hesitantly got into her ostentatious car.

"Wow, this is... amazing." It was pretty awesome, despite my inner objectives.

"Thank you! I really love it." Alice smiled a perfect smile. However, she drove like a Nascar driver on a drug-induced high, much like Edward. She missed objects by inches and didn't bat a perfect eyelash_._

I tried to think of something normal to say. "So how long have you and Jasper been together?"

"A few years," she answered with a smile. "You and Edward seem to be doing well."

"I think so," I said, quietly, then wondered if I wasn't the only one with objectives.

"He's waited a long time for you," she said, casually.

"For me?" I was floored.

"Yes, Bella, for you. I've never seen him so happy." She looked at me with soft eyes. The thought made my heart soar, although I kept my feelings covered.

"That's great...really great, actually." I giggled quietly. The giddiness started to seep out.

"You can be yourself with us, Bella," she said, quietly. A warm smile now joined her soft eyes.

"Thank you." It was all I could think of to say. She saw through me – maybe everyone did and I just didn't know it. Maybe I was more exposed than I thought. That didn't settle well with me.

We arrived at Forks High and I couldn't wait to get out of her car. I didn't want the attention a Porche would attract, not to mention I felt carsick, to put it lightly.

I bent down to the open passenger window. "Thank you very much for the ride, Alice. I know you drove a ways just to take me five or six miles down the road." My face flushed with embarrassment, although I wasn't sure why.

"You're very welcome, Bella. I'll be here to pick you up this afternoon!"

"Oh no, Alice, that's okay. I will get a ride with Angela this afternoon," I said, probably a little too urgently.

"Alright, if you're sure. Have a good day, Bella," Alice said.

I walked up the steps to the main building as I listened to her drive off. The hallway was dim and my footsteps echoed without the hustle and bustle of students changing classes. I walked up to my locker to get my books out and jumped sky high, almost losing my balance when I caught a figure standing behind me.

"Hello, Mr. Beauregard." It sounded more like a question than it should have. He took a deep breath and the hair on the nape of my neck stood up.

"Good morning, Bella. I was thinking about your paper last night. That's a truly intriguing topic, the Cold Ones, don't you think?" He hid a smile under his usually stoic, inexpressible face.

A feeling shot up my spine that I couldn't quite name and I gasped.

_Why do I feel like I should RUN?_

"I found it interesting, too." I wouldn't normally wish for a crowded hallway, but today I'd have given anything for it. Even just one student would suffice.

He raised his hand to rest it on the locker next to mine, making me shift my weight to the foot farthest from him. I hadn't noticed it before, but the skin on his hands didn't match the skin on his face. His hands were stark white, but his face wasn't. He appeared in thought as he strummed his fingernails on the locker. The sound was more of a clink-clink-clink than a tap-tap-tap. His hand fell to his side as he put his face back together in the usual super-serious look.

"Bella!" a voice shrieked. I turned to see Alice standing in the doorway; her eyes had an expression in them that I couldn't quite read, but they were intensely focused on Mr. Beauregard.

"Have a pleasant day, Miss Swan. I'll see you in fifth period." He turned and quickly bounded up the stairs.

"Bella," Alice struggled to keep her voice calm. "Who was that next to you?"

"Oh, he's my writing teacher, Mr. Beauregard." I shrugged. "What are you doing back?" I asked, and then noticed how visibly shaken Alice was. "Are you okay?"

Behind me, Mike Newton busted through the doorway with Tyler Crowley right behind him. "Hey there, Bella." Mike casually waved my way as he passed us, but kept his distance until he turned the corner to go to Government.

"Hi, Mike," I answered, but didn't think he heard me so I turned back to Alice.

"I just had an idea. Let's do something this afternoon - I'll pick you up from school. It'll be fun!" Alice smiled, but she didn't fool me. I knew something big just happened.

I just had no idea what it was.


	6. Never Second Guess Yourself

Rachel Love

* * *

**Three Days**

_What could you accomplish in three days?_

* * *

Chapter 5

Never Second Guess Yourself...Well, Maybe Sometimes

* * *

_**Special thanks to chattgirl4 for amazing advice, evelyn-shaye, CapriciousC and from PTB for their great comments and help!_

_**This is my first fan-fiction. Please READ and REVIEW. All helpful comments are appreciated!_

_**Twilight = Stephenie Meyer. Twilight ≠ Me._

* * *

**Day 28**

_February 26_

I suppose it shouldn't have surprised me when I glanced out the window of my anatomy class and saw Edward at our tree across the street. When the bell rang, I gathered my books and stopped at Angela's desk to say I wouldn't be there for lunch.

I walked as fast as my short legs could carry me across the street. "Hi!" I smiled. "I thought you were in class this morning?"

"Well, it was all just business as usual anyway, so I skipped my afternoon classes." He kept his eyes set on my school behind me.

"What's the matter, Edward?" I asked and turned around to see what he was looking at.

"Nothing important," he said, shaking his head nonchalantly, although he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Um, alright..." I waited less than patiently.

"Can I meet your writing teacher? What's his name? Mr. Beauregard?" Edward's beautiful tawny eyes finally focused on mine.

"Oh, well, sure. I think this is his planning period, actually. We can go see if he's in his room."

After we crossed the street, Edward took my hand and walked with me into the doorway of the building.

"Edward," I whispered, "Why do you want to meet Mr. Beauregard?"

"Just curious. You seem to enjoy his class." Edward tried to shrug, but it looked too awkward to be real.

_Uh huh. Sure._

My thoughts were confirmed as soon as Edward and Mr. Beauregard saw one another. Edward let go of my hand and squared his shoulders. He tightened his jaw and his hands clenched into fists by his side. Mr. Beauregard stood up quickly, with narrowed eyes and a low sound coming from his throat.

_Oh __my __God, __is __he _growling_?_

"Uh, Edward? Do you know one another?" I asked as my voice quivered ever so slightly.

"No," Edward answered quickly.

"Edward, is it?" Mr. Beauregard spoke up through semi-clenched teeth. "I'm Peter Beauregard."

"Pleasure to meet you. Edward Cullen." You would never guess it was a pleasure, thought, since neither had relaxed their stance since first sight.

"Cullen?" Mr. Beauregard relaxed his stance only slightly and asked with honest curiosity, "Are you familiar with Jasper Whitlock?"

"I am," Edward said, though he didn't relax his body at all.

"Tell him I said hello." Then Mr. Beauregard mumbled something that I didn't catch, but Edward did, and his eyes narrowed and nostrils flared. Mr. Beauregard appeared amused. "Alright, then. Goodbye, Edward." And we were dismissed, just like that.

"I'll be sure to send your regards to Jasper." Edward turned on his heel and grabbed me by the elbow to lead me out the door.

Once out of the classroom door and down the stairs, Edward tried to lead me out of the main doorway and into the parking lot. I struggled against his iron grip, and dug my heels in. "Where are you taking me? _WHAT_ is going on here?"

"It's not safe for you here, Bella. I don't want you anywhere near that man again." Edward grabbed my elbow in a huff. Apparently, he thought the matter was closed, but I shook him loose.

"What the _hell_ was all that? You're being completely nuts, Edward! Mr. Beauregard's been my teacher all year!" My voice unintentionally raised up a couple decibels. "_What _is going on, Edward?"

"It's...complicated," Edward sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alright, fine. I'll...never mind." His eyes were jet black like that night in September as he looked away, his jaw taut. "I'll be here to pick you up after school."

I knew from the look on his face that a ride home was not negotiable. So I went on to Mr. Beauregard's class, with more questions now than answers.

I ran into Mr. Beauregard's class with only a minute to spare. Angela waited at my desk, a huge grin on her face as she kept herself from bouncing with excitement. I looked over at Mr. Beauregard from the cover of my hair. He was writing on the white board as if nothing at all had happened.

Something _had_ happened, hadn't it?

"Bella!" Angela exuded excitement. "I just got a text from my mom...I got into Brown!"

My mouth fell open as I reached to give her a hug. "Oh my God, that is so great!" I suddenly remembered the turmoil at her house over the whole college thing. "How is your mom taking it?"

"I won't really know until I get home." She sighed. "Probably pretty rough." The soft features of her face that were excited a moment ago fell into worry lines.

I decided to suck it up for my best friend and say the right thing, although I knew I was trying to convince myself as well. "I'm sure she'll be fine. Brown may be far away, but now that we have cell phones with unlimited long distance and computers, you won't seem so far away." _Very __logical._

_I must have been a Vulcan in another life. _

Angela nodded just as Mr. Beauregard started class. I sat quietly in my seat, never meeting his eyes and waited anxiously for the bell.

Fifty minutes later, the bell rang. Mr. Beauregard didn't look in my direction once. After I gathered my books, Angela and I walked out of class.

"So, when will I meet this Edward of yours?" Angela asked. "You know, now that I think about it, I'm pretty bent that I haven't met him yet!"

"Well..." I took a deep breath to answer. I wasn't opposed to introducing them, but the time I had with Edward was precious, and I didn't like to waste any of it.

"How about right now?" A voice said from behind me. I turned to see Edward walking a foot behind us, his hands in his pockets and that adorable smile on his face. My heart fluttered in response.

We ducked out of the busy walkway of the old building into a side alcove. "Oh, uh, Angela, this is Edward," I said, nodding in his direction.

"Edward, it's..." she stammered, obviously caught off guard. "It's nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine, for sure." He smiled at Angela and reached for my hand.

"Angela just got her acceptance letter to Brown," I told Edward, then turned slightly to Angela. "I don't know what I am going to do when you leave." I tried to hide my nervousness, but I was sure she knew anyway.

"Congratulations! That's quite an accomplishment," Edward praised and gently squeezed my hand.

Angela's face flushed. "Thanks. It's been tough, but I'm sure it'll be worth it." We were silent for a few moments until Angela said she had to get home. Edward and I followed her out of the building, and then he and I walked to his car. He opened the door for me before getting in himself.

"She's very kind, Bella. I can see why she means so much to you," Edward said after he slid into the driver's seat. "I'm sure her mom will be okay after a semester or two."

"Yeah, me too." As I buckled my seat belt, it dawned on me that neither Angela nor I had said anything about her mother.

_Wait, did I tell him about her mom already?_

I kept my suspicion quiet this time. I was still trying to comprehend the other strange things that came up before class. After we arrived at my house, Edward said he had to meet one of his brothers and would be back later. My heart sank, but I also liked my alone time, so I smiled as he gently kissed me good-bye.

* * *

**Day 30**

_February 28_

"Good morning, Bella!" Edward called out from my driveway. He'd picked me up yesterday like he usually did on days he didn't have class, but, it was Wednesday and his first class started in twenty minutes – an hour away in Port Angeles.

"Hey, why aren't you in class?" I asked.

"Eh, I dropped the classes," he said as he ran his fingers through his bronze hair. "It turned out that I knew more on the subject than the professors. I'm banking on having _better_ professors next semester." He cocked one eyebrow and gave me a sly look, as if trying to gauge whether I bought it or not. I didn't, but played along anyway.

"I see," I said, watching my feet kick the gravel of the driveway. I wondered if it had anything to do with Mr. Beauregard on Monday.

"I'm not worried about it. It'll all come out in the wash." He shrugged. "Now, let's go before I have to drive like a bat out of hell to get you there on time." He chuckled at his own joke as he walked me quickly to the passenger door and opened it.

"Oh, God, we wouldn't want that!" I quietly laughed at his cadence. Sometimes he sounded like my grandmother did with her little sayings. But when I was captured by his charm and shocking good looks, all bets were off. In the back of my mind, though, I cataloged this little tidbit of information with all the rest.

_My Edward-the-weird file is getting huge._

The morning passed without incident. Lately, I'd been putting myself just slightly out of my comfort zone and trying to open up a little. I think my anatomy teacher thought I must've developed a muscle tick when I raised my hand to answer a question. Wherever this courage came from, I was grateful. Life was hurtling toward me, and I didn't want to miss it by hiding like a turtle. I wanted to be strong and be the one Edward deserved.

I didn't have to look out the window to know that Edward was standing by our tree at lunchtime. Packing up my books, I waved to Angela and ran out the door right as the bell rang.

"Hi," I said with a smile as I reached him.

"Hello, Bella," he murmured as he bent down to kiss me. Even in these little casual kisses, I felt fire between us. Was this normal?

"So what are you doing now that you aren't in school?" I asked.

"Helping my dad at the hospital, mostly," he answered with a shrug. "There's always something that needs to be done."

I dug out my diet Coke from my purse. Edward gently took it from me, opened it and then handed it back. "Thanks," I mumbled, and he nodded once. "So which brother did you go meet up with last night?"

"Jasper, actually."

"Oh, is that the Jasper that Mr. Beauregard knows?" _Ooh.__ The__ plot __thickens._

"Yes, it is. Small world, huh?" he said with a nervous chuckle.

"Yeah, no kidding." His nervousness warned me that I stood on shaky ground. "Was Jasper happy to hear that Mr. Beauregard was in town?"

"No, not really. They had a falling out a few years ago and their friendship never fully recovered." Edward ran his fingers through his hair and drew a deep breath, taking a short step back.

I dropped it then and changed the subject to Angela and her parents' reaction to Brown. Her mom had taken it better than either of us expected. I babbled on until it was time to go inside, noticing that Edward looked comfortable again.

His kiss was harder this time; his grip felt tight around my waist. I almost lost my footing and leaned into him for support.

"I'll see you after school, my Bella," he whispered into our broken kiss. I blinked a few times and reluctantly tried to come back down to reality from my own personal heaven. When I managed to gain all my senses again, he was gone.

Edward's warning on Monday haunted me a little, although I couldn't tell him that. He hinted that Mr. Beauregard was dangerous, and I didn't take a warning like that lightly. I looked over my shoulder often and wouldn't go into his classroom alone.

The bell was due to ring in about two minutes when I walked into the half-full classroom. Mr. Beauregard had turned away from us, writing on the white-board behind his desk. I gasped when I read what he was writing:

THE COLD ONES

Mythical Legends of Our Time

_Uh, what? MY paper!_

Suddenly, my phone beeped with a text from Edward:

_Bella – come downstairs, please. E_

I sat in shock at my desk, afraid to move. Was I safe? I didn't feel safe. _Remember,__ be __logical, __Bella._

My phone beeped again:

_Bella__ – __I __need__ you __downstairs. __E_

The texts continued, one right after the other, until the bell rang for class to begin, and I turned the phone to silent.

Mr. Beauregard turned to the class. He was more cocky than usual - which I didn't think was possible - with a smile hidden behind his serious front.

"Good morning. I have read and graded your papers from last week – you will get them back at the end of class. However, one in particular stood out to me after some research of my own, and I found the subject fascinating and hope you will, too."

He left his podium and began gracefully pacing though the aisles between our desks. "You can tell a lot about a culture by its writings and beliefs. I've heard it said that one can tell a lot about a society by looking at how it handles its weakest - say, its children, the elderly and the disabled. I tell you that one can tell quite a lot about a culture by the shape of its myths.

Every culture has a myth about these creatures: Vampires." He paused seductively and turned to walk back to his podium. Once there, he continued, "The Quileute are no exception, and they call these vampires the Cold Ones."

Most of the people around me were scribbling wildly in their notes. Although I had my notes open, my hand wouldn't move to write anything. The phone vibrated in my purse, begging to be answered, but I kept still.

"The characteristics of a vampire, according to legend, are as follows," he began as he turned to the white-board behind him. "Number one, like their name dictates, they are cold to the touch. The Quileute believe they are not _only_ cold to the touch, but also metaphorically cold-hearted, caring only for attacking and devouring their prey." He scribbled out an outline on the white-board faster than I would have thought possible with perfect penmanship.

"Number two, their skin is like granite, not only cold, but stone-like and virtually unbreakable. The legend also states that they are perfectly shaped, like a chiseled masterpiece, and smooth in their contours. And their eyes change color with their mood - whether happy, angry or simply thirsty. Number three," he continued, "the Cold Ones are difficult to catch because they run at an impossible speed. Their speed is only matched by number four, their strength. They are able to lift trees up from their roots, smash boulders with a single punch – sounds much like a superhero, doesn't it?" The class laughed, and he smiled, a devilish grin shot my way.

"Number five, lifecycle. They are said to be immortal; however, the Quileute legend says that they can be destroyed with fire..." He trailed off and stepped back from the white-board to look over his outline and turned to the class.

"Number six is their lifestyle. When do they sleep? What do they eat? According to their legend, the sun is not fatal to the Cold Ones, as it is in other myths. So they could be out during the day as well as night." Mr. Beauregard turned back to the white-board, resting his hand on his chin. "So what does that leave us with? The final question: What do they eat? Like all vampires, they drink blood. Their blood thirst rules their existence. They can never escape it and sometimes spend their eternity stalking their prey." He moved to the other side of the white-board and began outlining the fables that involved the Cold Ones.

In the back of my mind, I heard the echo of a lecture that I should've been taking notes on – my paper hadn't covered the fables. I heard the words 'Native Americans,' 'wolves,' 'fire,' 'blood,' and 'sacrifice' as if I were in a wind tunnel. I couldn't look away from his notes, though. I _wrote_ the damn paper, how the _hell_ had I missed this?

I stared blankly at the whiteboard: cold to the touch, heartless, stone hard skin, attractive to perfection, unbelievably fast, undeniably strong... My mind raced and tried to make sense of all the simple memories that began to flood my mind.

_The man who stood at the tree line...the different diet...all-night conversations without a flicker of being tired...changing eye-colors...old-fashioned speech...circulatory disease...ice-cold neck...stone hard hands...always in the driver's seat too fast...picked me up with one hand...shockingly handsome...bucket list..._

_BUCKET LIST?_

The thought of our bucket list conversation was almost laughable, if I weren't so fucking scared. _What __am__ I __saying? __What __am __I __asking?_

_Oddities._

Oh. My. God.


	7. When Life Gives You Lemons

Rachel Love

* * *

**Three Days**

_What could you accomplish in three days?_

* * *

Chapter 6

When Life Gives You Lemons, Shut Up and Eat Your Damn Lemons.

* * *

_**Thanks to Evelyn-shaye and Pastiche Lethe from PTB for their great comments and help! Betas rock!_

_**Hugs to my pre-reader, Chattgirl4.  
_

_**This is my first fan-fiction. Please READ and REVIEW. All helpful comments are appreciated!_

_**Twilight = Stephenie Meyer. Twilight ≠ Me._

* * *

**Day 30  
**

_February 28_

I struggled to keep calm, but as I sat and thought about the stupidity of the idea that Edward was a vampire, the more convinced I became it was true. Call it what you want – intuition, over-active imagination, or divine knowledge – the bells went off again and I just knew.

A chill rolled down my spine, and I felt my chest tighten. Edward had warned me about Mr. Beauregard, but was Edward the one I should have been afraid of all this time? And what about _The __One_? How did that play into all this? He still was _The__ One_– that I was sure of.

As the reality of the situation set in, I went through a wide range of emotions in the last twenty minutes of class. My body went rigid with shock, and my heart threatened to force its way out of my chest with fear. I didn't know whether to hold my breath or weep uncontrollably. When anger showed its ugly head next, my blood practically boiled and my eyes couldn't focus on anything for long.

_Seriously? Does God hate me so much that He finds torturing me an enjoyable pastime? First, my mother. Now – _

I felt weak all over, like all the adrenaline had left my body, and I desperately wanted to get home. But first, I needed to figure out just how to get out of this classroom. No doubt the vampire waited for me outside the door.

_Vampire._

_Vampire!_

It didn't make sense, though. He had had plenty of chances to hurt me, or bite me, or whatever it was that they did. We had been alone and secluded so many times in the past month - twenty-eight days, to be exact.

_How can I get out of this God-forsaken building?_

I needed to think of something; the bell would ring in five minutes.

_The nurse. _

Mr. Beauregard had finished his lecture, and he sat at his desk, reading. "Hello, Miss Swan," he said, without looking up.

"Mr. Beauregard, I need to go to the clinic. I'm feeling– "

"Sick?" He didn't seem surprised as he looked up at me to finish my sentence.

"Yes, sir, can I go?" I asked.

"Of course. Why don't you just leave early? We'll keep it between us," he whispered.

"Thanks," I mumbled. I left his desk and walked to the door, slowly turning the handle. Mr. Beauregard chuckled quietly to himself. I opened and closed the classroom door as softly as I could. In the hallway, I practically tiptoed down the hall, until I realized how ridiculous I looked. If Edward was here, he would bust me anyway. I ran down the stairs, managing not to fall and kill myself.

_Falling is all I'd need. Blood. "Here, vampire, vampire." _

_Oh God, what am I saying! Shut UP, Bella!_

I didn't know how I would make it through this. My hands began to shake, and I noticed the familiar knot in my chest again when I got out of the building.

_Just let me get home. I can sort this out if I can just get home!_

But was I safe at home? Speaking of home, how would I get there? I didn't have my truck! I whipped out my phone and called Charlie.

"Dad?"

"Hey, Bells, what's up?"

"Dad, can you give me a ride home?" _Think__ fast, __Bella._"Edward got tied up and can't come get me."

"Um, sure, I'm on the road now. I'll be there in five."

"Oh, great, and Dad? Meet me across the street, outside of the McDonald's, okay?" It was a few hundred yards from our tree, and maybe Edward wouldn't see me. I high-tailed it across the street to meet my dad, and waited.

And watched.

My dad got there to pick me up just as the bell rang at school. I saw my friends as they came out of the building. The one person I didn't see was Edward.

"Thanks, Dad," I said, as I turned in my seat and tried to search for Edward. If vampires could turn into bats, I hoped there wasn't one following behind the car.

"You okay, Bells?" Charlie asked as he watched, his attention split between me and the road.

_Uh oh. Act natural._

"Sure, sure, Dad. I'm great." I faced the front and folded my hands in my lap to keep them from shaking. "How was your day?" I asked, a little too enthusiastically.

"Not too bad," he said. "Yours?"

"Oh, just great. Great day." _Calm,__ Bella, __stay __calm._ We pulled into the driveway, and I got out of the car. "Thanks for the ride, Dad. See you when you get home." I slammed the car door and reached for my purse to get my keys.

Charlie rolled down the passenger side window. "Bella?"

I walked back a couple of steps. "Yeah, Dad?"

Charlie pursed his lips together before he continued. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Oh, yeah, Dad. I'm fine." I nodded, took a deep breath, and tried to muster a smile.

"Okay," he said, suspiciously. "I'll see you tonight."

"'Kay," I mumbled as I waved, awkwardly jogging to the front door.

I found my keys and opened the front door, locking it behind me. After I heard Charlie's cruiser pull out of the driveway and down the road, I began to sob. My sobbing turned to screaming, and I started to throw the small couch pillows around my living room out of sheer rage.

_What bullshit! What total, fucking bullshit! Was this love just a fucking game to him? A sick, twisted and sadistic game? _

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled at the roots. Edward wasn't only my first love; he was my only love. Ever. I should've been scared for my life. I was essentially being hunted, wasn't I? Every game has a winner, a reward. I assumed that, if he won, I would be that reward. Or, rather, my blood would be.

When I started to sob again, I fell to my knees and then face-down on the carpet. I kicked and screamed as loud as I could. I was devastated - the deceit and the lost love crushed me, but I couldn't bring myself to feel scared.

_What__'__s_ wrong _with __me?_

I didn't know how long I lay there crying before the phone rang. It was Charlie. I couldn't pick it up sounding like this, so I grabbed the phone and sprinted up to the bathroom. If I picked it up while I brushed my teeth, he wouldn't be able to tell that I was having a hysterical mental breakdown.

"Ha-whoa?" I made sure he could hear the buzzing of the toothbrush.

"Bells? Brushing your teeth?"

"Ya – Wus up, Dad?"

"I have to pull an all-nighter tonight. Will you be okay there by yourself?" he asked.

_Yeah, sure. I'm only being hunted by a blood-thirsty vampire. No biggie. _

But, it kept him away and, hopefully, safe for the night. "Shur, Dad. Dow't wer-ey."

"Okay, I'll let you get back to brushing your teeth. Bye, Bella."

"Bye." I hung up the phone, spit out the toothpaste, and rinsed out my mouth.

_Close one._

I took a deep breath and stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and swollen, with tiny broken capillaries around them and over my cheeks. I didn't have the energy to care about much of anything, at that moment. My heart felt as if it had been pulverized and ground into the cracks of the floor. Life and death didn't matter much to me – I just wanted to sleep. After searching in the medicine cabinet for something, I found the Nyquil pills and took two.

My feet dragged across the floor towards my bed, where my grandmother's quilt lay like an inviting pair of arms, waiting to hug me. I wrapped myself up in it, covered my head and cried tearlessly until I fell asleep.

* * *

**Day 31  
**

_March 1  
_

I woke up around midnight in my blanket-cocoon of security. My jeans pinched me from laying flat on my stomach. Was yesterday a dream?

_I'm dressed in bed, so I doubt it._

I sighed and sat up, hugging my knees to my chest. Although it ached, my head felt somewhat clearer, but that didn't help alleviate the overwhelming despair that lingered. I thought Edward was my answer to the loneliness I felt, being shackled to anxiety. But, I was more alone than ever with another secret to keep.

_Alone. Always a secret. Always alone._

Although I wanted to run somewhere and beg for help, who could help me? Who did one go to when there was a mythical monster after them? A witch doctor? A priest? The local psychiatric ward?

I chuckled at my own bizarre sense of humor. What kind of a person sat there and made jokes about their own morbid demise?

I got up to go downstairs and got some juice, thankful that Charlie was working overnight. I couldn't hide all the raw feelings that were being purged out of me, and I certainly didn't have the energy to stop them like I usually could.

I stood with my back to the counter, leaning gently. While sipping on my juice, I realized that it wasn't Edward's being – or lack of being – human that made my stomach fall and gave me a burning feeling in my chest. The greater concern was how our relationship would change from here. What was left of us? Was there ever an 'us' to begin with, or was this a fantastic game of cat and mouse? And how did _The __One_ play into this? It felt as though every answer added two more questions to the list.

Presuming Edward wouldn't kill me – and I knew that might be a far fetched assumption – this was another secret I would have to swallow. That thought alone made my heart sink even further.

_I can't bear these alone anymore! _

I began to cry again, surprised I still had tears left, and trudged up the stairs back to my room. Once there, I threw myself, face down, on the bed.

_I miss my mom!_

It's not that she would have known what to do or that I could have told her about Edward to the full extent. It was simply that she was my mom, and as long as she was in the world, everything could be okay.

In some ways, I wished I had told her what happened to me that caused me to be so emotionally scarred. I couldn't tell while she was alive; perhaps I could now that she was dead. I got up and reached in my desk drawer, pulling out the yellow notebook that held previous letters I'd written to my mom over the last couple months. It would be one less secret to carry, even if it was only on paper.

A new round of tears began as I opened journal of the letters to my mom to finally tell her the truth.

_Dear Mom,_

_I love you, and I really wish you were here right now. I need to tell you something, Mom. It's really bad, but I just couldn't tell you before now. It's funny because, now, you're the only one I can tell. You see, Mom, Phil was not the man you thought he was. He was a great actor, though._

_Do you remember when I was a freshman, right after you married Phil? You sent me to the counselor because you worried that my sudden withdrawal might have something to do with your new marriage? You were right – sort of._

_It started one night when you were out with your friends. Phil came home from work around eight o'clock, and he was drunk when he stumbled into my room. I was lying on my bed, listening to my iPod while I did my homework, and didn't hear him come in. He grabbed me and flipped me over, pinning me down. Mom, I fought him, but it was useless. _

_He threatened to beat the crap out of you if I told you. I guess he knew if he threatened to hurt me, it wouldn't work. True evil can be quite brilliant._

_I ran to the bathroom and took the hottest shower I could stand and just cried. I didn't know if I bled because I had just been robbed of my virginity or because I scrubbed myself so hard. I couldn't seem to get clean enough. _

_How could this happen to me? What had I done to deserve this? I was so sick that I threw up all night and told you I caught the flu so you would leave me alone. It happened once or twice a month until you died. He made you so happy, Mom. Telling you would have destroyed you. I knew you'd blame yourself, so I decided I could bear this._

_Now, there is Edward. I don't know what to do. I can't say much more than that in a letter. _

_I love you, Mom. Please forgive me for not telling you sooner._

_Love,_

_Bella_

Suddenly, I caught the silhouette of a man out of the corner of my eye and jumped sky high. I felt sure I would have broken something if Edward hadn't caught me.

"Holy hell, Edward, you scared the shit out of me!" I yelled.

_What the f–? How the hell did he get in here?_

"Bella, I heard you crying. What's wrong?" His butterscotch eyes pleaded with mine.

Should I tell him? Could I trust him? I knew how to keep quiet, but I was a horrible liar, and with Edward staring at me, waiting for my answer, I didn't have the time to come up with a convincing lie, anyway.

I had let my guard down and thought it was safe to cry. I felt naked. But, in that one _specific_ moment, I realized I didn't care if he was a vampire. He wouldn't hurt me. In his translucent, tawny eyes I saw something that I hadn't seen in anyone but my parents: Love. However inadequate, and with all my baggage, he truly loved me. And I loved him, whatever he was. As long as he was with me, I didn't feel the loneliness – I felt normal.

He was _The__ One_ – my hero – and he came to rescue me before I knew how much I needed him.

_Oh__ my __God. __Here __we __go._

I knew I couldn't vocalize it, so I held my breath as I handed him the journal that told the secret that haunted my life. He took the journal and opened it reluctantly, as if bracing himself for impact. As he read the horrible tale of my past, his eyes turned pitch black, like a black hole – infinite, yet strangely darker than I thought was possible, and hostile. He sat eerily still, and when he was finished, he placed the journal down gently on my bed. At first, his jaw was clenched. He breathed quietly for a few moments until he relaxed, then he turned to me. Edward's eyes weren't filled with pity, exactly – more like a deep compassion.

And love. Pure love.

Using the softest touch of his freezing, cold knuckles, he gently stroked my cheek. It was the most comforting touch of my life. "Do you know why I call you 'my Bella'?"

"No," I whispered, mesmerized.

"I have never heard another word that describes what I feel for you. 'Darling,' 'Sweetheart,' and 'Honey' – none of those words do this love justice. Nor do they do _you_ justice."

I sat, speechless.

He smiled, but I could tell he held something back; his eyes were still as black. "I'm going out of town for a couple days. I have something I need to do with my brother."

"Oh, okay." _I__'__ll __be __lost __without __you._ "Which brother are you going with?"

"Emmett," he answered. Then as if he could read my mind, he added, "Don't worry, I'll be back very soon." He touched my cheek again, soft and gentle. "Goodbye for now, my Bella." He got up to go and began to walk to my bedroom door. I mustered up all the courage I could find.

"Edward, do you hunt...people?" I whispered, sure he would hear me. His shoulders slumped as he exhaled, and he slowly turned around. He looked as though I had just kicked him in the stomach, with what resembled tears in his eyes.

"No, Bella," he whispered.

"Okay. I'll see you when you get back." I smiled gently at him.

He ran his fingers through his bronze hair and turned to leave.

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you, as well, my Bella," he said, and left.

* * *

A/N: I wonder where Edward and Emmett went? PM if you want to guess. ;o) Is that bait for a review? Absolutely.


	8. Indecision May or May Not Be My Problem

Rachel Love

* * *

**Three Days**

_What could you accomplish in three days?_

* * *

Chapter 7

Indecision May or May Not Be My Problem

* * *

**Thanks to Evelyn-shaye and Pastiche Lethe from PTB for their great comments and help! Betas rock!

**Hugs to my pre-reader, Chattgirl4.

**This is my first fan-fiction. Please READ and REVIEW. All helpful comments are appreciated!

**Twilight = Stephenie Meyer. Twilight ≠ Me.

* * *

**Day 33**

_March 3_

The sky stayed gray all weekend, with a steady mix of rain and ice on an already-saturated ground. I sat on the old rocking chair in my room, pulled my knees up to my chest, and gazed out the window. There was so much to think about that my brain needed to shut down to process it, much like a coma for a healing patient. I'd never had the ability to silence my mind, but I welcomed the emptiness today. The pit in my stomach stayed with me all weekend, as well. It was ridiculous, but I couldn't shake it.

So I sat in my rocking chair, quietly, most of the afternoon.

Impending doom pressed in around me, yet I had no idea why. The minutes ticked by slowly as I tried to get my thoughts off him. The problem was I had no closure; I felt as though our conversation had ended on a half-spoken sentence.

The One that completed me was a mythical creature that, supposedly, didn't exist. I hoped, eventually, that wouldn't sound absurd coming out of my mouth. He who held the key to my future fought his very nature not to drain me of my blood.

How could we live together if I was always a tempting treat? There was only one logical thing to do, but could I do that? Did I truly want to?

_Vampire._

My heartbeat sped up as I contemplated my death. Did it hurt to change into one...to die? He was a vampire, but if he truly didn't hunt humans, how did he survive? Didn't he have to go against his very nature to pull that off? I needed to know more about this, but the only one I felt even remotely comfortable enough to ask was off on a camping trip.

Which begged yet another question: what about this man had drawn me to him? Certainly, he had many redeeming qualities, not the least of which were his mind-numbingly good looks. But he could have looked like a hairy, greasy, one-eyed troll and I would still want to be with him.

No - it was more than his looks.

I felt magnetized when I stood near him, as if I were the north end of the magnet and he were the south. I was not only drawn to him; I was inescapably pulled to him.

No - it was more than supernatural gravity.

So, what was it? Why would I have even considered giving up my mortal life for a man I met only a month ago?

_I need him._

I hated to admit that. But Edward was so unique, so special - he gave me courage. I had the strength - I had endured hell more times than an eighteen-year old should. But Edward came to my rescue and gave me the courage to face whatever head-on. I knew I could move forward in my life and overcome my past if he were in my future. I wanted to live up to this potential he saw and be worthy of the faith he put in me.

* * *

**Day 34**

_March 4_

The rain pounded steadily on my window, hard enough to wake me up.

After getting up and going to the bathroom, I went downstairs and decided on a bowl of cereal for breakfast. I wasn't awake enough to really form words, just enough to feel the dull ache in my chest.

My forehead rested in my propped-up hand as I ate. I couldn't explain it. I felt so out of place without him near, as if I didn't belong in my own life, in my own body.

_He's only been away for two days! You're being a baby!_

_Yes, I'm being a baby, but I just don't care._

_You're stronger than this._

I dug into my breakfast with a renewed sense of vigor, but my confidence didn't last long, and I found myself returning to that dull state of existence for the rest of the day.

My door creaked open around five o'clock Sunday evening when my dad peeked in.

"Hey, uh, are you hungry?" Charlie asked, no doubt with ulterior motives. I smiled.

"Do you want me to make something?" I offered.

"Yeah, that'd be good...or I could go grab us a bite somewhere?"

"No, I'll make dinner, Dad." I got up out of my rocking chair and headed downstairs. I enjoyed cooking for Charlie - I was good at it and it gave me so much satisfaction to watch someone love something I created. I took defrosted chicken out of the fridge and put some water on to boil. If my hands stayed busy, my mind kept from wandering into places I didn't want it to go. My dad wandered in behind me as I cut up the raw poultry.

"Angela called for you earlier." Charlie leaned back against the counter gently and crossed his arms.

"Oh, yeah? I didn't hear the phone."

"Yeah." He paused. "Are you alright, Bella?" he asked in uneasy curiosity.

"Oh, yeah." I chuckled. "Edward's gone on a camping trip or something with his brothers. I just miss him." I smiled sheepishly.

Charlie nodded thoughtfully, gave me a one-armed squeeze around my shoulder and walked into the den. After the chicken was cooked, I realized that I didn't have the soup I needed to finish the casserole. Charlie looked forward to this meal - it was his favorite.

_Damn. I guess I'm going to the store._

I walked out the door with all the necessary layers of clothing for the freezing cold rain and opened Old Faithful's door. After starting it up and turning the corner at the end of the road, my brain was overwhelmed with thoughts of Edward that I turned on the music as loud as the old radio would allow and drove.

The parking lot of the grocery store was packed with cars and speckled with puddles and small ice patches. I parked my truck and tried to walk carefully on the ice, but fell on my ass anyway walking up to the store doors. Drenched like a drowned rat, I grabbed a cart as I walked in and mentally sifted through the vague list in my head. A list on paper would have served me better, but, as per usual, that took planning - not my strong suit.

I walked aisle by aisle, trying to remember the small list, but knowing full well that I would leave here with more than I planned on and still not what I needed. Halfway through the store, someone called my name.

"Bella?" I turned to see Mr. Beauregard's thin, six-foot frame and dark eyes smiling down at me.

"Hello, Mr. Beauregard. Uh, how are you?" His eyes bore into mine, making my stomach squirm.

_Why does he always look like the cat that caught the canary?_

"I am quite well, Bella. How about yourself?" he asked, raising one eyebrow. One perfect eyebrow.

"Not too bad, really. Just doing some shopping." My inner squirming had now progressed outward and I couldn't stand still, let alone break his intense gaze.

"Very good. Do you usually shop by yourself?"

"Yes, usually," I said. "My dad really isn't the shopping kind."

"That's right. You live alone with your father; your mother is deceased, correct?" His eyes narrowed.

"Yes, sir, she is."

"Hmm." He paused. "I'm sorry to hear that." He stood there unfocused, biting the inside of his cheek. We stood awkwardly in silence for a minute.

"Well, um, I'm going to get going. I need to finish..." He turned his glaring eyes back to me; I stuttered and lost my train of thought completely.

"Pleasure to see you, Bella." He turned around quickly before I had a chance to say goodbye.

"Bye," I mumbled anyway.

I finished shopping, checked out, and got back into Old Faithful. The rain subsided into a sheer mist as I drove home.

After adding the last few ingredients to Charlie's dinner, I threw it in the oven. Dinner was late, but he forgave me because of the casserole. Creamy chicken, breadcrumbs, rice and French bread. It was the epitome of comfort food that, when I was finished, felt to me like a warm hug.

When my evening chores were done, I trudged up the stairs to get ready for bed. The sky outside had finally cleared, yet the night was empty and black.

A moonless night.

Edward said he would be gone for a couple days. This was day two.

_A couple is two, right?_

I lay on my bed until eleven-thirty, and then got up to sit in front of my bedroom window.

_I feel sick._

I fell asleep in the rocking chair, waiting for Edward.

* * *

**Day 35**

_March 5_

The gray, oppressive sky returned early Monday morning. I awoke with a start, my back and neck tense from sleeping in the chair.

He hadn't come by.

The air felt bitter cold on my face when I walked outside the front door for school. My heart sank as the realization hit me that I had to drive myself to school that morning. Old Faithful creaked and groaned when I opened the door and pulled myself up into the driver's seat, tossing my stuff on the passenger seat. I could relate to my old steel friend - under all the pressure and stress lately, my body felt much the same way.

I sighed deeply and turned the key.

_I'm sure he'll be there at lunch time._

When lunch period arrived, I was out of the door before the bell finished ringing. Holding on to the rail, I bounded down the stairs and out the stone and brick doorway.

He wasn't at our tree.

_Relax, Bella. I'm sure he'll be back tonight._

While my mind said one thing, my instinct wasn't so sure.

That night, after dinner, I grabbed my favorite fleece and my wool jacket to go out back. It was a dark, quiet night with only the sound of squirrels in the trees, rustling the leaves. No moon shone in the sky, only darkness to press around me with the gravity of a much larger planet.

* * *

**Day 36**

_March 6_

I woke up in the morning and had no idea what day it was, where I was supposed to be, or what my purpose was. The clock read six o'clock, so I guessed I should get ready for school. I performed on auto-pilot from the time I woke up until eight o'clock that night, when I could sit on my lounger in the backyard.

I couldn't deny it for much longer, although I couldn't bear to think that he might actually be...

* * *

**Day 38**

_March 8_

I sat in Mr. Beauregard's class with my elbows on my desk and my forehead resting in my hand. I felt despair so deeply that I couldn't sit up straight and could barely keep my eyes open. He had been gone almost a week. I went though every memory I had with Edward and racked my brain for something - anything - that I might have done to push him away. I knew the answer, but I didn't want to admit it - he was too good for me.

_Don't cry, Bella. Not here._

"Miss Swan, please approach my desk," Mr. Beauregard called, waking me out of my pathetic internal chastising.

I got up and walked gingerly to his desk. He motioned for me to come around to his side.

"Yes, Mr. Beauregard?" I mumbled with my head down.

"Bella, are you well?" I looked up to see concern on his usually stern expression. He surprised me lately.

"Yes, I'm okay." I bit my lip and looked away. How does one go on about life when Love disappears?

"Very well." He turned his head back to the papers on his desk, but spoke quietly, "My door is open if you need to talk. I know what you are up against, Bella."

_Um... WHAT?_

"Thank you," I mumbled, as if I would have ever gone to him with my guard down. Angela looked at me quizzically as I sat down. I rolled my eyes. How could I have explained that?

Darkness fell over the sky around seven o'clock. Spring would arrive soon, and every year I celebrated the slight warmth, light green leaves, and fresh scent. This year, however, it stood for future, and I wasn't sure I had one anymore.

Outside on my lounger, I listened until midnight as the squirrels scurried around in the trees. The night wasn't as oppressive as the previous nights. Although it was still very dark and the moon returned - just a sliver. I hadn't completely lost hope that Edward might return as well.

_Am I being naive? God, I hope not._

* * *

**Day 40**

_March 10_

Saturday came at an unbelievably slow pace, like waiting for Christmas, or listening to a three-year-old tell a story, or Windows Vista. My stomach felt as though it was literally tied in knots when I woke up that morning - it hurt so bad I could barely stand up. My anxiety crippled me ten times worse now that Edward was...

_No, he's not gone! He's not!_

It became increasingly obvious that he was gone, at least from my life. No calls, no emails, no texts. Nothing. The hardest part was that not only did he leave, but he took all of me with him: my heart, my self-esteem, my courage, but worst of all, the keys to the dungeon within me. I let him in; I told him.

_And now I have another gaping hole._

I walked over to my desk and pulled out my yellow notebook to write to my mom.

_March 10_

_Dear Mom,  
__My heart is broken. I can't even... I have no words.  
__WHY aren't you here?  
__Love, Bella_

He loved me. I knew he had, but I doubted it now. But why? What did I do?

_I cornered him. I know his secret - before he wanted to tell me._

My mouth dropped open when the realization hit me.

_Oh my God, if he had done that to me, I would have... done the same thing._

I hunched over, feeling as though I had been punched in the gut. From the desk in my room, I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could and gave up what little breakfast I had eaten.

_I did this. He's gone, and it's my fault._

Charlie came upstairs and tapped on the bathroom door. "Bella?"

I wiped off my mouth with my hand. _Well, that's gross._ "Dad, I-I just got too hungry."

"Do you want me to get you some water or something?" he asked.

"Um, yeah, that would be great." I got up from the floor, washed my hands and sluggishly walked back to my bedroom. Charlie brought my water in and set it down on my nightstand as I got into bed and under my quilt. Devastated, I slept most of the day and woke up at dinner time.

After I got up, I carefully walked downstairs to get some juice. The lack of food left me dizzy and, hopefully, it would help.

"Do you feel any better?" Dad mumbled.

"Sure," I lied, although I wasn't nauseated anymore, so it wasn't really a lie.

I curled up in the den on the plaid couch and stared blankly at the TV screen.

_This has to be worse than Chinese water torture._

I got up and grabbed my jacket and fleece to go outside.

"You aren't going out there?" Charlie said, incredulously.

"What?"

"No. You're sick; you're not going out there. It's cold and wet."

"But it isn't raining anymore! And I have the blanket and my jacket!"

_What. The. Hell._

"No, Bella. You're staying inside."

"Alright then. I'm going to go up to bed. Goodnight, Dad," I said and pouted my way upstairs.

"Night, Bella." Charlie watched the TV screen and took a drink of his beer.

_That's fine. I'll just go out after you're asleep._

At eleven o'clock, I listened as Charlie softly snored behind his wooden door. My feet quietly padded down the stairs, reminding me of a few weeks ago when I would sneak down to see Edward. I swallowed hard and opened and closed the back door lightly.

The half moon cast gentle shadows over my back yard as a light wind rustled the trees. It became my favorite sky, as the few clouds that were left from the storm sprinted across the dark night backdrop.

I listened to the night sounds and tried to clear my mind. Anxiety was my new best friend again, and I longed for peace wherever I could find it. Suddenly, I heard the branches above me creak and snap almost purposefully. When I jumped up, I caught a shadow in the tree above the house.

_That's either one big-ass squirrel or..._

"Edward!" The dark figure stopped. "Edward, is that you?"

"Hello, Bella," Edward whispered.

"Where have you been?" _Why did you leave me?_

"I went camping for the weekend and came back on Sunday. I had a lot of time to think, Bella." I couldn't see his face, only the silhouette.

I quickly interrupted him. "I know - I'm so sorry! I cornered you about your secret and forced you to reveal something you weren't ready to!" The words tumbled out of me before I could censor them as the tears began to stream down my face. "And I get why you stayed away for so long. I never understood why you loved me, anyway."

_Brace for impact!_

"Loved? Did you say loved?" He jumped down from the tree, an angry, pained expression on his beautiful face. Then he ran his fingers through his hair and turned to pace.

He paced quietly for a couple minutes, which felt like hours to me. "Bella, you are in need of some education." His face was stern, as if he were scolding a child.

_I beg your pardon?_

My right eyebrow lifted slightly, and I said, "So, educate me."

He grew very serious, his eyes intently fixed on me. "First things first: You can never, ever reveal what you know about me – about us. It puts your life in unspeakable danger. I have a hard enough time keeping you alive." He paused. "Second, loved, Bella? Really? Listen to me, Bella. I could not stop loving you if I wanted to - and I will never want to- "

My heart wanted desperately to believe him, but the years of insecurity fed my doubt. "How can you be so sure? I have so little to give," I interrupted. I knew better than to ask; it only left me hugely vulnerable and extremely nervous. My insides squirmed as my heart and my mind again braced for pain.

"Bella, that's ridiculous – you give me everything. And I am sure, and you'll have to accept that explanation for now."

But how could I? For days he was gone, no contact of any kind. If he did love me, wouldn't he have called to see how I was or to reassure me that he would come back?

We walked over to my lounger and sat down. After a few minutes of silence, I mustered up some more courage. "Edward, where have you been?" I asked in almost a whisper. "I've been crumbling to pieces here!"

His mouth curled up into a sad smirk as he gently shook his head. "Would you ever believe that it's been like a fate worse than death for me?" he whispered. "Actually, I've been right here since Sunday night. Mostly up there in the trees. I couldn't leave you unprotected. I thought you had heard me a few times."

I smiled. "I thought it was squirrels."

"You need to bone up on your studies, Bella. Squirrels are not nocturnal."

"_Squirrels are not nocturnal,_" I said, mockingly. He laughed. "Seriously, though, why did you hide?"

He scooted closer to me on the lounger. "I'm not good for you, Bella; you are better off without me. Knowing me will most likely get you killed." He paused and took a deep breath. "So I decided that I should leave. The only problem was that I...can't. I'm weak and selfish. I need you too much." He hung his head gently, but I was far too pissed off to feel pity.

"So you just _decided_ that you should leave? You took some liberty that you DID NOT HAVE and decided what was best for me - without even discussing it with me first!" I fumed with anger so deeply that I couldn't focus my eyes as I remembered the pain and helplessness I felt the past week. "Where do you get off, Edward Cullen, choosing the path of my life? It is MINE - one of the few things I have some control of, and you will NOT even choose so much as my socks for me without my permission!" My teeth were clenched so tight that my jaw hurt.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose tightly. "Bella, you don't know what you're saying! You're talking about a world you know nothing about!"

"So, fucking _educate_ me then! But I mean this, and I need you to hear it - really hear it: You will not make my decisions for me."

His jaw clenched and coal black eyes glared into mine. "Understood," he muttered.

Moments felt like hours as we sat there in silence. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, and as tears pooled in my eyes, I looked away. "So, is this it for us?" My insides began to shake.

"God, Bella. I..I don't want it to be, but, quite honestly, it's your decision to make," he said, stumbling over trying to find the right words. I wondered if his mentioning _my decision_ was somewhat of a poke, but he spoke softly, almost hesitantly, while looking at his folded hands on his lap.

I bit my lip, unsure of how to say what I felt. "I don't want to be without you. Ever."

"Even though you know what I am?" he whispered, keeping his head down but turning it to look at me.

"Doesn't change a thing." I leaned in toward him.

He smiled, then his smile faded and he drew a deep breath. "Forgive me, Bella."

"I do," I whispered.

"Thank you." A soft, crooked smile passed over his lips.

Then Edward sat closer to me, tucked my hair behind my ear and rested his hand softly on my neck.

"You're beautiful," he murmured.

I smirked. "I'm not the most beautiful person in this conversation, for sure."

"Yes...you are." Edward leaned in and began kissing my neck. I froze. "Are you okay?" he whispered.

"Very." Although, I still wondered if I should be more careful how close he was to my arteries. I sighed as he kissed me. His kisses were soft and gentle and I forgot all about my tempting blood. "I love you." A startling feeling overcame me suddenly - confidence. And desire.

"I love you," he whispered into my neck. His breath smelled of cinnamon, cool on my skin but warmed quickly by the blood that began to boil in my veins.

I turned and searched his eyes, dark and deep. I got up on my knees, facing him, and cradled his perfect face in my hands. I pulled him into a kiss, and as soon as our mouths met, lightning surged between us. His kiss tasted like cinnamon, too; it was delicious and I wanted more.

Edward caught up quickly, his strong arms and muscular chest pushed up against mine. He leaned us down on to the lounger, and I wrapped one of my legs around his, secretly enjoying the weight he pushed gently between my legs. When I broke our kiss, panting, I stared into his eyes with intense desperation. He completed me; he belonged to me. _Mine._

Edward met my eyes and groaned. "God, Bella, please don't look at me like that," his gruff voice whispered into my lips. My hands entwined in his hair, pulling him back to me. He met my mouth in a hurry, savoring it.

My hands shook as I let go of his hair and grabbed his stone hips, pulling them into me. My body was furiously hot, and I was sure he felt it through my jeans as I felt his coldness. Our temperature difference only heightened my excitement. His kiss became more intense, if that was possible, and my tongue desperately tried to part his lips.

Suddenly, he broke our kiss, panting. "Not the best idea. Razor teeth."

I looked at him incredulously, slightly shook my head and laughed. He smiled his beautiful, lopsided smile.

"What's funny?"

"Razor teeth?" I laughed more. He still lay on top of me, his ear now pressed to my chest. "Edward, I have so much to learn about you."

"As I do you. How wonderful this is."

"What is?"

"Listening to your heart; feeling its beat."

"Mmm." I lay silent for a moment. "How old are you, Edward?"

He laughed quietly, still listening as my heart slowed. "I'm seventeen."

I smiled. "Forever seventeen?"

"Something like that," he whispered.

"Well, damn, I'm older than you!" I laughed.

He guffawed. "I think not!"

"If you're seventeen, I'm older!" I teased.

"Sure you are!" he said as a smirk crossed his face. "I was born June 20, 1901. My parents died of the Spanish Flu in 1918." His face fell slightly. "I was an orphan, in the hospital, also dying of the Flu. Carlisle was the doctor who cared for me."

"Ah, that's why you connect with the sick and the orphaned," I said, more to myself than to him. "So, Carlisle changed you?"

He nodded. "I lay there, dying, and he simply couldn't bear to be alone anymore." He paused. "Ours is a lonely existence, Bella."

"I'm sure it is." My voice was somber. What pain he must have gone through.

"You need to sleep. It's two a.m."

"You never cared about my sleep before," I teased.

"Not true - I just never thought about it before. It's hard to go from living as a vampire for a hundred years to thinking human again!" He smiled fondly. "You are all so fragile."

I laughed. He walked me to the back door and opened it for me. "Can this - us - work, Edward?" I asked.

"I would like it to. I need it, I need you. Losing you would possibly cripple, if not kill, me, love." He kissed me gently, and I turned and went inside, softly closing the door behind me.

* * *

**Day 41**

_March 11_

The clock read nine-fifteen when I stumbled out of bed and blinked at the sunlight coming in from my window.

_Finally a nice day, but will I see Edward? Does he...combust...in the sun?_

_So many questions..._

Suddenly, the nice day didn't seem so nice.

After going to the bathroom, I went downstairs to search for some breakfast. Charlie was already in the den, drinking his coffee.

"Hey, kiddo, how are you feeling?"

"Not bad, Dad," I called from the kitchen. After pouring some orange juice and turning on the oven to heat up, I walked into the den and slumped down on the plaid couch.

"What are you making with the oven?"

"Cinnamon rolls. You want some when they're done?"

"Of course." Charlie shrugged, and I laughed. "Hey, you were sick yesterday, and I didn't want to bother you, but I heard some disturbing news yesterday. Bill, from down in Phoenix, called." Bill was the deputy sheriff who Charlie got to know while he was with me in Phoenix after my mom died.

"Oh yeah?" I took a sip of my orange juice.

"Yeah. I guess your mom's husband, Phil, committed suicide last weekend." He paused. I guess he realized that I might be upset. "I'm, uh, sorry, Bells."

_He committed suicide?_

"Oh, God, that's awful! But he was so egotistical; I can't see him doing such a thing. Was there a note or anything?"

"Just a note that said 'I'm sorry.' He was found hanging from a bicycle hook, screwed into the rafter. And the weirdest part was that he was hanging stark naked." Charlie shook his head.

I sat there, my mind officially blown.

_Last weekend..._

_Son of a bitch!_


	9. If You Can't Take the Heat

Rachel Love

* * *

**Three Days**

_What could you accomplish in three days?_

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**If You Can't Take the Heat, Don't Annoy the Dragon**

* * *

**Special thanks to evelyn-shaye and Pastiche Lethe from PTB for their great comments and chattgirl4 for amazing advice!

**This is my first fan-fiction. Please READ and REVIEW. All helpful comments are appreciated!

**Twilight = Stephenie Meyer. Twilight ≠ Me.

* * *

**Day 41**

_March 11_

Forks weather in March was, of course, wet. Not frigid cold, really, with highs in the fifties, but a bone-chilling damp that never went away.

I trudged slowly up the stairs to the shower, trying to decide if I wanted to confront Edward about Phil's death or not.

_Did Edward avenge me?_

The thought was so medieval: avengement. Were we living in this century anymore, or had we traveled back a few hundred years? Excuse me, but would someone kindly help me tie up my corset? Phil was a complete asshole, and if you asked me if I hated him, I would have said yes, but did he deserve to die?

_Edward apparently thinks so._

_Stop it! You don't know that he did it!_

_Oh, come on, it's not rocket science, Bella._

I shivered, but it wasn't from the cold.

My mind was like an etch-a-sketch, lines darted this way and that with only predetermined directions to take. I wondered: if I shook it, could I start over?

Brilliant sunshine beamed through the window when I opened the bathroom door. I turned on the hot water of the old shower and stepped in, instantly relaxing. The water patted away at the vinyl shower curtain while I closed my eyes and listened. How many of those myths I that I had written about were true?

I wondered if he would combust in the sun. Edward stayed locked inside like a hermit on sunny days, not that there were many sunny days in Forks.

_Okay, something must happen in the sun._

And what was up with his eye color? Why did it change all the time? Was he like a chameleon and his eye color changed by his moods? Like instead of a mood ring, he had mood eyes? If he was somewhere between moods, would one eye be one color, the other eye another color?

_Well, that's freaky. I hope that's not true._

I giggled at the stupidity of my last thought and got out of the shower with a new outlook on the day. I had so much to learn, and my curiosity overwhelmed me so much that I felt lightheaded. I guessed that when the unbelievable became believable, knowing beforehand really didn't keep away the shock.

I wrapped a towel around my pale body and rushed across the hall into my room. I saw his form before I recognized him and let out a scream. Edward jumped, startled, then the arms of my rocking chair cracked under the pressure of his sudden, strong grip. My hand slapped over my mouth, but it was too late. Charlie had heard me.

"Bella!" Charlie's heavy footfalls quickly bounded up the stairs.

"Hey, Dad." I blushed and held tightly to my towel and met him in the hall, quickly closing my bedroom door behind me. "No worries, I'm okay. I almost slipped," I said and laughed half-heartedly. "You know me!" _Don't overdo it, dummy._

Charlie cocked an eyebrow, nodded, and went back down the stairs to the den, grumbling about my clumsiness.

_Damn. Where the hell am I supposed to go now!_

After taking a deep breath, I opened my bedroom door. He had left. Confused, I grabbed my sweatpants and a t-shirt and tip-toed to the bathroom to get dressed. I had no clue where he went, but I didn't want him catching me with my pants down when he came back.

After I dressed and went back to my room, Edward was sitting in my rocker again, a look of mock shame on his face.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't think you would come in so hurriedly and…indecent," Edward said, trying to hide his grin.

"It's okay to be indecent when you're in your own room alone. How did you get in here anyway?" I demanded.

"The window." Edward nodded to the partially open window.

"Holy hell, Edward, how did you get up to the window?" I looked out the window at the white shingles in total disbelief.

"I simply scaled the wall," Edward replied matter-of-factly, as if I were the idiot here.

"Well, excuse me! The rest of us can't climb bare walls!" I snapped.

"Oh, I am sorry, Bella. I've offended you. Would you like me to leave?" He stood up to leave, a dejected look upon his beautiful face.

"Oh, sit down." I rolled my eyes. "I guess I'll need to change in the bathroom from now on. You won't show up _there_, will you?"

"No, I promise I will not." He held up a boy scout salute and then laughed. I simply shook my head and scoffed with a grin.

Everything had changed. And even though I gave him hell over his little antics, I loved the change.

* * *

"Hey, Dad, why aren't you fishing?" I tried to sound casual. It was Saturday, after all, and Edward was waiting patiently in my room for Dad to leave.

"I need to go in to the station today," Charlie mumbled. "Rob called off." He got up and headed to the stairs with me close behind.

"Oh, I see." My heart pounded in my chest as he walked past my room and into his own. I cracked opened my door just enough to slip in and drew a deep breath.

"Don't look suspicious or anything," Edward teased. "Don't worry, I'll know when he gets close."

"How?" I whispered. "Super sensitive hearing?"

_Oh, good. Having a vampire around has its advantages!_

He shook his head. "Well, yes, but to be more accurate, I can read minds," he answered.

_Oh, God. Wasn't expecting that..._

That little tidbit stopped me in my tracks and stunned me to silence. Almost instantly, I remembered all the very _private_ thoughts I entertained - especially about him.

_Oh, good God!_

"Bella? Are you okay? Your face just went white as a ghost!" Edward stood up quicker than my eyes could process and appeared next to me. "Are you faint?"

_Yes... No... Maybe... Wait, shouldn't he know if he can read my mind?_

"Don't you know?"

He chuckled. "You would think so, but no."

I sighed. "Could we please not be cryptic? I don't think my psyche can take it."

Edward smiled. "In a hundred years, I've met thousands of people." He leaned down gently and kissed my forehead. "And in all those years and all those people, you are the only one whose mind has ever been silent to me."

"Weird. I wonder why." _Thank you, God._

"I honestly don't know. It makes understanding you incredibly difficult."

"You're not used to an even playing field, huh?" I chided.

Edward's eyes narrowed. "No, I guess not." Suddenly, he fell silent and whispered, "I'll be back."

A nanosecond later, I heard footsteps up the stairs. "Bella?" Charlie called before opening the door.

"Hey, Dad," I said, as I pretended to straighten up my desk. "What's up?"

"I'm leaving. I'll be back around five or so. Do you have anywhere to go today?"

"No, I think I'm just staying home. I've got stuff to do." I prayed he wouldn't ask me what "stuff" entailed.

_Oh, nothing too important, Dad, just going to quiz the vampire that I'm in love with and that is, more than likely, hiding in my closet._

"Alright." Charlie nodded tentatively. "See you later, Bells."

_Whew!_

"Bye, Dad."

An instant later, Edward was at my side again.

"So, what's the good word?" His excited, amber eyes always gave me butterflies when he looked at me that way.

"Food. I'm starving!"

"Ah, we need to feed the human." He chuckled as he opened the bedroom door for me and followed me down the stairs.

"Er, right." I'd made those cinnamon rolls earlier, but had been so stunned about Phil that I hadn't eaten one yet. I opened the fridge to get some juice. "Can I get you...anything?"

_Oh crap, did I just offer a vampire something to eat?_

"I don't know - do you have any O negative in there?" He smirked.

I looked at him, back in the fridge, and then back to him. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so I closed it. Edward sat back in his chair at the table and began to laugh.

_Awkward._

After a few moments, I laughed, too. "I'm afraid I'm all out."

"Ah, well, thank you just the same." Then his laughing subsided and his eyebrows came together, as he gazed off into another world.

"You okay?" I asked, as I set my breakfast on the table.

He pulled out my chair for me and I sat down. "Yes, I'm great," he said with a forced smile. Whatever it was that bothered him, he shook it away and relaxed again. "So what is the plan today?"

"I have a class to take," I said, as I took a bite of my cinnamon roll. He raised his eyebrows in obvious curiosity. "Vampire 101."

He rolled his eyes. "Is it safe to presume that I am the teacher, then?"

"Yep." I nodded once and smiled.

"Very well. I'll skip the lecture and open the floor." He leaned back into his chair, folded his hands and waited.

"Okay, so you said you don't hunt people. How do you survive?"

He took a deep breath. "Well... we hunt animals."

"So you eat animals?"

"Not exactly. We...drink...animals."

I nodded. "Do all vampires do that?" I tried to sift through myth and reality in my mind. Maybe the human part was myth?

"No. As far as we know, there is only one other group that sustains themselves with animals."

"So the rest..."

"Hunt humans, yes."

We stayed silent for a few seconds. "Wow, that must be really hard. You're going against your nature then, right?"

"Yes - Bella, can we move on from this question, please?" He sat slouched over, his hands cradling his face. I wondered why he appeared so uncomfortable talking about this.

"Almost. What's it like? To drink animal blood?" I sat in my chair, Indian-style, fascinated by this conversation. Fascinated by him.

"Well," he said after taking a deep breath, then sat quietly for a moment. "It's...dreadful, actually. We hunt purely for nutritional means. It's as if you had to eat... liver and lima beans every night. You could survive on it, if you had to."

I began to understand. "So being around me must be really hard?"

"It can be." He sighed. "Last Fall, at the tree line, I was chasing a deer when I came upon you. You are very lucky. It took every ounce of restraint I had to run away. I didn't...want...to."

Silence fell between us again. I was afraid to ask the next question, for fear he would end our conversation, but I asked anyway. "So, obviously, you've thought about...drinking...my blood?" I asked, carefully. I watched the wheels spin in his mind.

"Yes." Edward hung his head and gently exhaled. _Simple answer to a simple question, I guess_. His face looked as though he had just confessed to murder. I supposed, in some way, he felt he had.

"It's okay," I whispered. "You didn't attack me at a very weak moment. That's good." I reached out to his arm and tried to give him the most reassuring smile I could.

"I just as easily could have." He spoke quietly.

"But you didn't. That's the point. You won't hurt me, Edward."

He sighed. "Let's move on from this question now."

"Okay." I sat and thought for a minute. I knew at any moment he could pull the plug and I would get nothing else, so I had to be crafty with my questions. "You said earlier you have super sensitive hearing. Do you have super sight, too?"

"Yes. I can see the smallest things in colors you could only dream of." He smiled. "I wish I could show you."

"I wish you could, too." I thought for another minute. "So, we have established that you are, like, wicked fast, super high senses - "

"_Wicked_ fast?" Edward cocked his right eyebrow as his tone changed to slightly insulted.

"Yeah, it's an expression...you can read minds, how have you never heard that?" I said, incredulously.

"I have, I just never expected to hear you say it. Anyway, go ahead."

"You're strong, right? You carried me with one hand, remember?"

"Oh, Bella. That's nothing," he said, as he stood up. "Come with me."

He led me out the back door and into the woods behind my house. Ferns, greenery and moss-covered rocks surrounded us for every inch of the winding trail we followed. Little snippets of light from the partly sunny day peeked through the trees. Then Edward stopped, suddenly.

"Okay, I think we're far enough away. I don't hear anyone nearby. Please step back, Bella."

I nodded and took a few steps back. Edward then kicked the dirt until he found two feet of exposed tree root about a foot in diameter and dug a little around it with his hands so as to get a grip on it. With one bicep curl, he pulled up the root. I listened as smaller roots snapped when the larger root was lifted from the earth. Then, with a simple flick of his wrist, the tree root bent and sent a wave along the exposed crux of this huge tree.

I must have looked like an idiot as I stood there with my eyes wide and my mouth falling open. Clearly, I had no idea what he was truly capable of and knew then that I had only scratched the surface of this amazing creature.

Lost for words, I stared at the tree for a few seconds, then turned my attention toward Edward. I couldn't quite decipher his expression. I saw a smirk in his face for sure, but there was something else, something familiar - a sadness, maybe - or was it simply vulnerability?

No, it was more. The smirk wasn't just a smirk - it was an inward sneer. At that moment, I saw him - he stood in front of me exposed. I felt his fear and his detest for what he had just shown me. I recognized those feelings from my own. A tender smile crossed my face.

"I see you," I whispered. Edward stood up straight and nodded subtly once. He turned back to the trail and held out his arm for me to take it. I held on to his arm and rested my cheek on his bicep as we walked slowly and wordlessly through the mess of greenery.

When my house came into view again, I heard Edward groan and then the musical, familiar voice of his sister behind us.

"Hello, guys!" Alice danced out of the trees with a man behind her.

"Hi, Alice," I said and smiled. I had begun to feel more comfortable around her. Alice was still bubbly and impulsive, but her sweetness and overall happiness endeared her to me now.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet Jasper, my better half." Alice beamed with adoration towards the tall, relatively thin man.

"Pleasure to meet you, Miss." Jasper's voice rang of a Southern accent, but not the twang that you hear of now. It was one of a proper gentleman, with sounds of refinement and class. I got the feeling that women of his time probably curtsied when they met him.

_The damn time continuum blew up again! Where the hell am I now?_

"Um, likewise."_ Did that sound right?_

A low rumble came from Edward's chest. "Relax, Edward. You know I would never do that," Alice chided.

"Do what?" I asked, glancing from Edward to Alice and back.

"Oh, he's worried that I put you in danger by bringing Jasper to meet you." Alice dusted off some dirt from her shoulders. "Really, Edward, you know I looked and didn't see anything."

"I assure you, Edward, I am in control." Jasper appeared crushed for a split second, but quickly stood tall and confident. Edward relaxed...a little.

"So what are you two lovebirds doing today?" Alice asked in obvious amusement, probably at the blush that warmed my cheeks.

I giggled softly and felt Edward's cold fingers playing lightly with my hair at the nape. "Nothing really, just hanging out." I shrugged and smiled. We didn't need to have plans to be happy - if Edward was with me, I was perfectly content. And I got the feeling he was content, too.

"Did you get all your vampire questions out of the way?" Alice asked.

"Um...no, actually. But that last one was pretty intense, so we might call it there for today. How did you know about that?" I hadn't noticed Edward call her...

"So, he hasn't told you, yet." Alice shook her head in disapproval.

"Told me...what?" I looked from Edward to Alice and back.

Alice gave a mischievous laugh. "Edward, I thought you intended to be straightforward?"

"I am being straightforward; we just hadn't gotten to family, yet." Edward shifted his weight to his other leg.

"Well, no time like the present," Alice said, smiling.

"Yes, well -" Edward turned to me with a little uneasiness. "I told you that I can read minds, but I'm not the only one in my family with a gift."

"Okay," I said and waited. He acted so strange that I worried there must be something big on its way.

"Alice can see the future." He watched me tentatively, as if he were waiting for me to run away screaming.

"Oh."_ I mean, what could I say to that?_

"But her visions are subjective - nothing is written in stone," he added, still watching me.

"Subjective, how?" My curiosity was piqued.

Alice's eyes sparkled. "I can't see past decisions you haven't made yet. You still have a free will - you can always change your mind. If you do, the vision changes."

I nodded, stunned to silence for the second time today.

"I know what you're thinking," Edward murmured.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind?" I asked, a little panicked.

"I can't. I just know you." He shrugged. "You're worried that your privacy is compromised."

"And is it?" I whispered.

"To some degree, but nothing too intrusive. Your thoughts are silent to me, and Alice can only see what path your decisions have put you on. Nothing more."

"Interesting." _And, yet, somewhat creepy._ "Well, alright then." I paused to mull this morsel of information over. Shock had begun to be a daily occurrence with me.

_Is nothing impossible? Is every single "fictional" creature really a truth somewhere society just can't deal with? Was K right in Men In Black - is the real news in the tabloids and not necessarily in the evening news?_

I had to get a hold of myself and this internal rant. The bottom line was this: this world of Edward's appeared strange to my naive mind, but I wanted - no, I _needed_ - to be a part of it. Intuitively, I knew I belonged to him and he to me. Where he existed, I would, too.

"Do you see me going in to bake some French fries?" I asked and smiled.

Alice smiled. "I told you she'd take it well!" she gloated.

He nodded, grudgingly. "Well, I think we'll go inside now. I'll see you both at four-thirty?"

"Yes, at the north end of the property," Jasper answered.

"Great! Ciao, Bella!" Alice's voice sang.

"Bye," I said, overwhelmed and still digesting this new revelation.

Edward and I walked through the wet, squishy grass to the back door. We walked without speaking - not out of anger but contentment.

"Why were you so upset when they first showed up?" I asked Edward when we reached the door.

"Jasper is our newest vegetarian. He struggles with it quite a bit." Edward scoffed. "It was an unnecessary risk."

"Maybe, but maybe not. I had to meet him sometime, and with both you and Alice there, I had to be pretty safe."

"Bella, with three vampires around you, pretty safe is a complete contradiction." He shook his head. "Alright, no more questions for today. Let's go watch a movie or something." He opened the door and waited for me to pass.

On our way to the den, I flicked on the oven for my fries. "French fries, my favorite comfort food."

"You need comfort?" A concerned look crossed Edward's face.

"No, not exactly. Just mentally tired, I guess." I smiled, sheepishly.

"Hmm." _He apparently didn't like that answer, either._

"Okay, let's go find a movie." I followed him into the den and we looked together through the DVD's I had rented a few days ago. "How about this one,_ The Help_. I've heard it's good."

"That's fine." Edward sat on the end of the plaid couch and patted his thigh. I smiled and lay down on the couch with my head resting on his lap. I felt loved as he played gently with my hair. Vampires weren't any more evil than humans were - it was about the choices you made and the beliefs you had.

The racism in _The Help_ bothered me, and as we watched the movie, I realized that Edward probably had a unique perspective; he'd lived through so many different decades. "Edward, was it really like this?"

"No, it was worse. Humanity has always been riddled with hatred. Once one prejudice is resolved, another pops up, equally ridiculous."

"It reminds me of a show I saw where the people had faces that were half black and half white. And the ones with the white on the left side of their face hated the people with the white on the right, and vice-versa."

"Hmm," Edward said, thoughtfully. He moved this hand from my hair and traced my body down to my waist. There he slipped his hand gently inside my shirt to rest his hand on my bare waist. I jumped slightly from the cold. "I won't go any farther. Is this alright?"

"Yes, it's nice." _Cold like a polar bear's toes, but nice. I hope I get used to this kind of contact soon._ My demons had begun to crop up again, in a new and disturbing form. _Yet another hurdle._

After a moment of quiet reflection, my discouragement turned to awe. Awe of how we fell in love so quickly, how sure we could be, and how imperfect, yet perfect, our love was. Life was different hurdles, some meant to be conquered and others meant to be enjoyed. "I love you," I whispered, still lying facing the T.V.

The glass of the entertainment center reflected his soft smile. "I love you, too."

"Good, because it's going to be a long eternity if you don't." I turned over slightly to wink at him.

Edward chuckled. "Silly girl." He stayed until four-thirty, when he left to meet Alice and Jasper to hunt.

* * *

"Hey, kiddo. How was your day?" Charlie asked when he walked through the door promptly at five o'clock.

"It wasn't bad. Edward came over and we watched a movie."

"Sounds like fun. What time did he leave?" Charlie hung up his jacket and his belt, and set his gun on the console.

"Around four-thirty."

"You need to bring him by more. You spend so much time with him and I barely know him. I'm not comfortable with that, Bella." Charlie sat down at the table with his jaw taunt and a bothered look upon his face after getting us both some iced tea.

"Okay, Dad."

Dinner consisted of baked chicken, green beans and a salad. Charlie scarfed it down quickly, and then excused himself to the den. After cleaning up the kitchen, I went upstairs to take a shower and read some before bed. At ten o'clock, my eyes began to close of their own will, so I turned out the lamp next to my bed, cuddled into my quilt and quickly began to dream.

_My mother appeared next to me, while we walked through a garden filled with beautiful flowers and glorious sunshine. It felt warm._

_"Bella?" my mother whispered._

_"Yes, Mom?"_

_"Don't be afraid, sweetheart. Esta es una canción de amor," she murmured._

_"What does that mean, Mom?"_

_She smiled at me and turned to walk away. I called out to her, but she didn't turn around. Suddenly, I stood in the forest from the dream I had a month ago. The tiger crept along the outer trees of the forest, snarling quietly. I climbed over and under fallen trees and branches. Again, I saw the woodcutter in the distance, cutting the trees to block my path. I felt a great annoyance towards the woodcutter and pushed ahead anyway. As I approached the five gigantic boulders, I looked up to see another granite boulder falling from the sky. My feet felt cemented in - I couldn't run, only watch and scream as this enormous rock hurdled down to crush me._

* * *

**Day 42**

_March 12_

My scream woke me up.

I jumped, but Edward had me firm in his arms. "Shh, Bella. You're safe," he whispered. "I'm here, I'm not leaving."

"Oh my God, Edward. What an awful dream!" I struggled to catch my breath and rubbed my eyes with the heels of hands. Edward set me back down on my bed.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"No, not really."_ Once was enough, thanks._ "Hey, why are you here? Why didn't you wake me up?"

Edward now stood at the window, focused on my backyard. "I haven't been here long."

I noticed he appeared preoccupied and antsy, pacing a few steps and back. "What's going on, Edward?"

"Something's out there." He stood like a guard at my window, ready to jump at any moment .

"What do you mean? What is it?" I jumped up and started towards the window.

"I don't know. I can't decipher the smell, and its thoughts are like white noise," he whispered. "I don't understand."


	10. Meet the Parents

Rachel Love

* * *

**Three Days**

_What could you accomplish in three days?_

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Meet the Parents

* * *

**Thanks to Evelyn-shaye and Pastiche Lethe from PTB for their great comments and help! Betas rock!

**Hugs to my pre-reader, Chattgirl4.

**This is my first fan-fiction. Please READ and REVIEW. All helpful comments are appreciated!

**Twilight = Stephenie Meyer. Twilight ≠ Me.

* * *

**Day 53**

Mar 23

Two weeks had passed since the incident when the mysterious being lurked in the woods. Alice and Jasper scoured the forest that night while Edward stayed close to Charlie and me. They never found the creature, and thankfully, it hadn't returned. Although, knowing there was something out there had Edward concerned enough to stay with me every night.

And if Edward was bothered, I was downright terrified.

We sat in my room late Friday night having yet another informative discussion about his family. I still waited for the day that nothing Edward said surprised me. This was not that day.

"Are you serious?" I exclaimed, sitting on my bed late Friday night.

"Very," Edward said, nodding.

"Jasper can control my emotions? Oh, for crying out loud!" I threw myself backwards onto the bed.

"That's a bit dramatic, Bella," he scolded. "I realize you are menstruating, but these mood swings are quite illogical."

I gasped and held my breath. My eyes darted toward him as I sat up, glaring and shooting invisible lightning bolts, while curse words flowed like a raging river through my mind.

"Bella, it's a biological condition and nothing to hide from me." As if I could hide anything from Edward.

_I shouldn't be surprised. It's blood - he's a vampire. But still, is there nothing sacred?_

I scoffed, irritated by his insinuation that my feelings and frustration were only because of my period - not to say that it wasn't, but he had no right to say it. "Don't tell me in the early twentieth century that women were so open about their period! No way!" He was so formal, so refined, I couldn't believe that just came out of his mouth.

"No, but I know their husbands were aware." He shrugged, looking mystified at a page in the latest copy of _Glamour. "'Guys confess what they really want you to wear to bed.'_ Seriously, Bella? _This_ is what you're reading?" He glowered at me as if he were looking over glasses.

_Okay, serious overload here..._

"Uh, yeah, it's a...fashion magazine, Edward." He looked up at me with one eyebrow raised and a dubious expression on his face. I stood there shocked and lost for words, finally cradling my forehead in my hands. "Look, I can't even begin to tell you all that is wrong with this conversation." Whether it was because of my period, his dismissive tone, or maybe a little of both, the well of patience within me sat dangerously low. "I'm going to go take a shower."

I grabbed my pajamas and left Edward in my room to ponder the article that had him so captivated.

* * *

**Day 55**

March 25

The air smelled fresh and clean as it swirled around my room. I opened my eyes, squinting at the small ray of sunlight that was shining in my face. The clock read seven-thirty on the gorgeous Sunday morning. I turned over and found Edward sitting up, reading in my bed.

"Good morning, sunshine." He glanced over at me and smiled. I giggled then groaned, hiding my face under my quilt from the light.

"Good morning," I said, peeking my face out and yawning.

"I went out and got you some donuts before sunrise."

"Thanks." My eyes had adjusted enough to notice that his irises had changed color to a light butterscotch. "You went hunting."

The past two weeks had been an eye-opener - no pun intended. The truth about his eyes and those of his family, that they were golden from the animal blood, while traditional vampires' eyes glowed red. He told me of his family, his sister Rosalie who had been a debutante and still acted like one, and his brother Emmett, who had an affinity to bears but wouldn't tell me why.

"I did. Jasper was here while I was away." Jasper was their newest vegetarian, and Edward warned me that if Jasper ever left suddenly, I shouldn't follow him. But I really liked Jasper - I sensed his refined upbringing, but there was a mysterious depth to him that I longed to know more about.

"In my room?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

_Oh dear God!_

"Of course not. That is a privilege only for me." He bent down to kiss me, but I turned my head so he kissed my cheek, instead. "What's the matter?" he asked as he raised his head.

"Let me go brush my teeth first." I smiled sheepishly.

"Oh, I see. Of course."

I rushed through my morning bathroom routine and slipped back into my room. "Want to hear something funny?"

"Sure," he said, putting down his book.

"When I was thinking about all of your...unique characteristics, I wondered if your eyes changed color specifically with your moods - I actually wondered if you had mood eyes and if you were between moods, would one eye be one color and the other a different color."

He chuckled. "That would be bizarre. How would I ever pull that off as human?"

"I don't know how you pull any of it off." I scoffed.

He smirked. "I fooled you."

I smiled. "_Love isn't blind; it just only sees what matters."_

"William Curry," he acknowledged my quote.

I nodded gently. "Speaking of which, you haven't shown me what happens to your skin in the sunlight." It had been about a month since the great secret was exposed. Now it felt as natural as the rain in Forks. To me, his vampirism was only a part of a grand picture, but I knew that Edward considered it much more dominant.

"Very well." He stood up and walked over to the window, opening his shirt to the rays of the sun. I was suddenly blinded by the light that reflected off his skin by millions of tiny prisms.

"You're...beautiful." I sat hypnotized by the many colors of light that flickered around my room.

"No, Bella." His face soured as he spoke. "I'm...a monster, Bella." The volume of his voice lowered as he spoke so that my name came out like a whisper.

"No, Edward. No, you're not!" I shook my head. "And you will never convince me otherwise." His face fell as I answered, although he said nothing. Let's change the subject. "So I guess this means we aren't leaving the house today?" I smiled and winked.

_I want to be with him. I want to feel normal._

He laughed. "Ah, teenage hormones. Your dad plans to stay in today, so I doubt anything such as_ that_ will be happening."

I pretended to be aghast. "I don't know what you are talking about," I said, although a very small part of me was quietly relieved.

"Sure, you don't." His crooked but perfect smile melted me, as it did every time.

* * *

We sat quietly on my bed, with his arm around me, as he read and I tried to do a crossword puzzle. "Okay, a twelve letter word that means to throw something out a window?"

"Defenestrate." It was so unfair how he knew all the answers.

"Hmm. Thanks. This is getting annoying." I tossed the paper onto my nightstand and turned to Edward. "Okay, so, why don't you officially come over today? My dad has been pestering me lately about how much time I spend with you."

"That sounds like a great idea. What time should I arrive?"

"It's eight-fifteen now... how about two o'clock? That's after lunch, so we wouldn't have to worry about that, some basketball game is on this afternoon, and then you can leave before dinner?"

"Alright." Edward got up and put his book down on my nightstand.

I jumped up with him. "Oh, wait - you aren't leaving, are you? I just meant _officially_ at two, not that you should leave and come back..."

"_I'm_ not going anywhere. _Your dad_ just left to go to breakfast with Billy Black."

"That's strange, he didn't say good-bye," I mumbled, biting my bottom lip.

"Hmm. Yes, that is strange." His voice was husky in response. Suddenly his mouth was inches from my mine; I breathed in his sweet cinnamon scent.

"Hi," I whispered. "I didn't think anything like this was going to happen today?"

He smiled. "Neither did I, but when opportunity knocks..." He gently kissed my mouth, then followed my jaw line to behind my ear and then down my neck. I moaned quietly.

His hands made me jump a little as he slipped them under my shirt, his fingers first caressing the curve of my waist and then moving upward. I wrapped my arms around his neck and relished in the tingles that his touch left on my skin, producing goosebumps.

Edward returned to kiss the soft skin behind my ear, with tracing kisses down to my collar bone. I gasped in bliss and broke his concentration when I pushed him back against my headboard. He sat back, and I climbed up on his lap to continue this great exploration.

I slipped my hands under his shirt, tracing every abdominal muscle all the way up to the pectoral muscles of his chest. Every muscle, perfectly defined hills and valleys, indulged my sensitive fingertips. His lips parted, he closed his eyes, and I listened to his quiet panting as I gazed upon his perfect face.

_How did I deserve this man?_

I moistened my lips and brushed my mouth lightly against his. He gasped again, his eyes dark and deep, focused intently on mine. Our eyes locked, and I felt my own body react specifically to his gaze while my heart pounded loud enough that we both could hear it.

He then grabbed the hem of my shirt on either side. "May I take this off?" he asked in a husky voice.

"Yeah," I whispered. My shirt lifted over my head, revealing a pretty pink lace bra. His eyes grew wide, and for a minute, I panicked. Was he disappointed?

"Exquisite," he breathed.

_Exquisite? Me?_

He lightly traced from left shoulder and followed my bra strap, so lightly, so sensually, and followed the outline of my bra down into my cleavage. He lingered there for awhile, his thumb tracing it over and over, then outlining my bra up to my right shoulder. "May I take this off, Bella?" he breathed into my neck.

"Uh huh," I whispered. His fingers expertly unhooked my bra, gently slid the straps over my shoulder and subtly down my arms. I instantly reacted to the cold air, which seemed to excite him even more. He leaned down, kissing one breast, then the other. I couldn't believe how my body reacted to him, as if it were celebrating a homecoming of its missing piece.

I could barely breathe, and I didn't care. My fingers entwined in his hair, tugging gently. He caressed my cleavage with his nose first, then followed it with kisses. I felt my familiar panic begin to rise up, but I was able to beat it down.

_This is my choice. I'm choosing this._

My heart beat ferociously in my chest. All of the nerve endings in my skin were alive, and every touch, every cool, icy breath, every almost-kiss felt like blissful lightning. "Your turn," I whispered. I unbuttoned every button on his shirt slowly, while my gaze never left his black eyes. When I reached the last button, I pulled the shirt down from around his shoulders, and he leaned us forward so I could lift it off his back and cast it aside.

So we sat there, my legs straddling his lap while we stared at each other, both of us naked from the waist up.

Without thinking, I moistened and bit my lower lip. Edward abruptly crushed my naked chest into his, his mouth finding mine quickly. He held me close with one arm and touched my naked torso everywhere with the other. We fell into a cascade of feelings, desire, and need.

Our kisses tasted delicious.

I felt his reaction underneath me and instinctively began to rock my hips against him. He moaned into my mouth. "Bella," he breathed.

_Not ready. Too fast._

_Don't panic - It's your choice._

Edward's hand massaged down my back, and I gasped when he didn't end at my backside but toyed his way around front. Even through my jeans, he found it. The spot. I instantly met his eyes as he touched me so expertly, so perfectly.

_Good God, how does he know how to do this?_

_Oh, don't think about that, Bella!_

Before I knew it, I lay flat on the floor with Edward heavy on top of me, nuzzling my neck. I felt his hand around my waistband and then the button of my jeans release. Suddenly, I realized that with him on top of me, I couldn't move. Emotional flashbacks of Phil's manhandling of me, demanding that I submit, seeped into my mind. The flashbacks were a collage of the feelings that I felt during the assaults - anxiety and dread. And fear.

_I can't move. He has me pinned. I can't move! Don't panic, Bella! It's not the same! It's Edward. It's not the same!_

But it was too late - the fear wouldn't allow a rationalization, nor would it be pushed down. The panic came despite my efforts and quickly took over. Tears welled up in my eyes and my hands pushed Edward's chest away from me. He jumped back quickly, his palms in the air as if I were holding him up at a gas station.

"It's okay, Bella," he murmured. "It's okay."

I nodded, sat up, and pulled my knees to my chest. "I know. I'm so sorry! I don't know what happened." I used my arms to cover my breasts.

He sat down next to me and handed me my shirt. "I know what happened, Bella. We'll conquer it. Together." He tucked my hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead gently before turning around so I could put my shirt on.

"Please don't be mad at me," I whispered. _What have I done?_

He turned around, smiled and gently shook his head. "You're worried I'm angry with you? Oh, my love, no. I know about this road, and I know it won't be fixed overnight. After what you endured, it might be a long road. I will follow your lead and wait until you're ready - however long that may be."

I nodded. "I won't lead you on like that again."

"Actually, I'm okay with testing the water here and there." He winked at me.

"Oh, but that's so mean," I whispered.

"Not really, not if I agree to it. We can look at it as... _therapeutic._ An exercise of endurance, if you will." A sly smirk crept across his stark face.

I looked up at him with tear stains down my face, a cocked eyebrow, and my mouth hanging open. He would never cease to surprise me.

"You deserve far better than to fight someone else's monsters," I mumbled, gazing down.

"That's debatable, but aside from that - these aren't someone else's issues, or monsters, as you put it. They are ours, and I have had to fight far worse monsters but without the reward that I have in front of me now."

A weak smile crossed my face. "I fight them, but I can't win." And I can't bear the idea of you being crushed, too.

"We will win, my love." He kissed my lips gently.

* * *

**Day 59**

March 29

The sun was supposedly up, but I couldn't see it because the fog was so thick.

"Bleh." Tiny little water droplets gathered on my cheeks and even on my eyelashes. "Great day to be a fish."

Edward had left around three that morning to go hunt before the weekend but promised to be back before lunch. Old Faithful was out of gas, and without Edward to take me, I had no choice but to leave early and fill up my tired old friend.

I sighed quietly once I got into the cab and threw my books on the passenger seat. The engine took a couple times to turn over, then he suddenly roared to life. "You sure live up to your name, Old Faithful," I whispered to my truck and chuckled at my own idiocy.

I drove carefully over the muddy roads while I held my breath and prayed we'd make it. The gas station was only a few blocks away, but in this weather, a few blocks on the side of the road could be a major problem - not to mention the sheer embarrassment of being stranded out of gas. I pulled into the station wondering how much gas I could possibly have left in the tank. After sliding my debit card through, I waited for approval and unscrewed my gas cap. Once the pump turned on, I put the nozzle in the gas tank, propped up the trigger and allowed myself some time to daydream the pathetic daydreams of a girl in love. Since he had said husband a few days before, my mind stuck on it, although I would never admit it. He held that place in my life, and would forever, but I'd never thought out the specifics until now.

I guessed we would eventually marry. I wasn't much for big, frilly weddings with their fake smiles, shallow congratulations and meaningless promises to keep in touch. Then nosy, unconcerned questions about our future would follow: _"Where will you live?" "What about children?"_ Neither of which I wanted to answer, or frankly could answer, about my sweet Edward.

_"Well, we'll live where there is little sun so Edward isn't discovered and we're both killed... He can't have children, of course, being among the undead... Yes, I'm sure it is hard for him to keep himself from draining me or crushing me... Actually, yes, I am okay with that..."_

How was that going to work, anyway? Would his throat burn all the time while at home around me? When we were finally able to go all the way, would he be able to have fun while he carefully judged his strength and kept his thirst in check so he didn't kill me? Maybe he wouldn't want to marry me at all and things will stay as they are right now?

_I'll die an old maid with a boyfriend of sixty years... of course, he'd look like my grandson by that point... oh God..._

My heart felt very unsettled as I tried to hammer all of these fine details out in my head. And this was just the preliminary stuff. My thoughts began to trickle down, and as this daydream took a very sour turn, I heard my name.

"Hello, Bella." The hauntingly bewildering smile of Mr. Beauregard peeked around the gas pump.

"Hi, Mr. Beauregard." I smiled at him but couldn't look at him for too long. Lately, he'd given me the creeps with his glances my way, the devilish grins and running into him in the strangest places - like that gas station by my house. "Oh, uh, where's your car?" I asked, looking around for a vehicle.

"Oh, it's back at home. I was just out for a walk." he replied, lackadaisical.

_A walk? He's wearing dress shoes and a cream colored vest. Must not be a very long walk._

He stared at me for a minute or so while we stood there in awkward silence. "Well, Bella, I will see you in class, correct?"

"Yes, sir." I nodded.

"Very good. Have a pleasant morning." He smiled, and as per usual, he was gone just as fast as he appeared.

* * *

**Day 61**

March 31

It felt warm - for Forks, anyway. A partly cloudy, beautiful spring day.

I sat on the scratchy couch in the den, with my cereal balanced on the armrest, channel surfing through various Saturday morning programming. My phone buzzed and a text from Edward came through.

_"Are you ready to meet my parents?"_ it read. I almost spilled my Frosted Flakes.

_"I met your dad already,"_ I replied.

_"It's time for you to meet my mom, too. Are you nervous?"_

_"Of course!"_ I wouldn't have been me if I weren't scared out of my wits.

_"Don't worry, they won't hurt you."_

_"That's not what I'm worried about,_" I typed back, frantically.

_"I'll be there to get you in an hour. I love you."_

_An hour? I only have an hour?_

I suddenly lost my appetite. In fact, I felt sure I was going to lose my cereal altogether. I ran up the stairs and headed straight for the shower. Vampires had heightened senses, and I didn't want to smell anything but perfect.

_Yeah, as if whatever body odor that you may or may not have would overpower the delicious scent of your blood._

_Thanks for the reminder. They might kill me. Fabulous._

One more thing I had to worry about. In all honesty, the panic attack that was on its way might've made me wish for death.

I showered fast and scrubbed every little inch of me at least twice. I shaved, blow dried, curled and primped the best I could with shaky hands and managed to run on pure nervous energy to be ready in forty-five minutes.

With fifteen minutes to spare, I could finally allow myself to freak out. Picking up the phone, I called the only person who would understand my hysteria.

"Hello?"

In the days of caller ID, it always amazed me how someone could live without it. "He wants me to meet his parents."

Angela was silent.

"It's me. Bella. He wants me to meet his parents!"

"I know it's you, and I'm surprised you haven't met them already," Angela replied.

"Well, apparently, my luck has run out."

"You okay?" she asked softly.

"Well...no, not really." My insides wanted to turn inside out; I would be a puddle of guts, blood and brain matter when Edward finally got here.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Angela asked, as if it were the obvious derailment of my anxiety. _Yeah, not so much._

_If only you knew..._

"Bella, you're a kind, sweet, lovable person. I can't imagine any guy's parents not adoring you. Just go and be yourself. Breathe. He loves you, right?"

"Yeah," I said, quietly.

"Then that's all that matters. And really, you do great with parents. I think mine love you more than they do me!" She chuckled.

Angela talked to me until Edward got there. She always made me feel better. I'm really going to miss her when she leaves for Brown.

Even though I saw his car pull into the driveway, I still jumped when he knocked on the door. "Hello, Bella. Are you ready?"

_Breathe in, breathe out. 1...2...1...2..._

I breathed deep. "Yep."

"They won't hurt you," he promised.

"Sure, sure...but...what if they don't like me? What if they think I'm not good enough for you?" I started to bite what little nail I had left on my thumb.

"Oh._ That's_ what you're worried about?" He cocked one eyebrow, shaking his head.

"Well...yeah." _Duh._

He held me gently at the shoulders while trying to get eye contact. "They will adore you, just as I do."

I said nothing, just nodded. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Damn, calm down, Bella! Your heart beat a hundred and sixty three times the last minute." Edward reached for my hand to caress it with his ice cold thumb. We were almost there.

"Of course you would know that," I mumbled.

"It's hard to miss when it is pounding that loud and I have to try so hard to ignore it."

"Oh. Sorry," I whispered.

"Yes, so could you please turn it down?" he chided with a chuckle under his breath.

"Very funny."

We drove down a winding road through trees and branches. It was more than a little secluded. No one could have found it unless they knew where they were going. We parked, and Edward opened my car door so I could step out and gawk at the magnificent house before me.

"It's...beautiful," I said, actually surprised. Glass, stone and pine adorned the huge structure. It was bright and spacious.

"What did you expect?"

I blushed. "I don't know. Something a little more...dark."

He laughed. "Like a dungeon?"

"Something like that." I chuckled, nervously. "With lots of cobwebs." I motioned with my hands.

"Oh, Esme would have none of that!"

I walked up the stone entryway and through a giant pine-wood door. It opened into a great room that had lots of windows and greenery to echo the outside. Beautiful art decorated the side walls sparingly - every piece had a purpose, a unique feeling to convey only that specific one picture could bring to the space. The carpets and furniture were light beige and impeccably clean. I guessed that the neutral color was deliberate so it didn't take away from the other surroundings. Out the back wall of windows ran a stream that, with the glass doors open, you could relax to its soft gurgling.

A woman appeared from the outside, with gardening gloves caked with dark, rich soil. She was stunning, with golden brown hair and the same tawny eyes. Dr. Cullen walked in behind her.

"Hello, Bella." Dr. Cullen wrapped his arm around the woman who I presumed was Esme. "This is my wife, Esme."

"Hello, Bella," Esme said softly, with a warm, inviting smile, but kept her distance.

"Nice to meet you, Esme," I said, smiling back at her.

"May I approach you?" she asked.

"Uh, sure." I shrugged.

She walked gracefully to me. "I am so pleased to meet you. Edward speaks so highly of you." She smiled at me and then her son.

"That's...great." _Well, that was dumb._ I blushed again and nodded gently.

"Would you like to come in and sit down? Can I make you some tea?"

"Oh, um, thank you. That would be nice." I took a deep breath and glanced up at Edward, who beamed down at me. As Esme headed to the kitchen to make me tea, Edward led me to the sofa, and we sat down opposite Dr. Cullen.

"Do you two have plans today?" he asked.

"We haven't talked about it. I thought I would show her around the property." He turned to me. "Would you like to see it?"

"Yeah, sure."

Esme returned with my tea. "Thank you," I said and smiled. I then remembered that they didn't eat or drink; I was the only one with tea. But as I took a sip, the warmth filled my stomach and helped to calm my nerves - a little.

"You're welcome," she replied tenderly. "I was just gardening out back. It's time to plant the spring bulbs. I do love flowers."

"Me too. They remind me of my mother."

I must have appeared sad because Esme whispered gently, "You must miss her so."

"I do. It gets easier over time, but I don't think I will ever stop missing her."

"You will have to tell me about her someday."

I nodded. "I think I'd like that." I smiled.

Dr. Cullen chimed in, apparently to change the subject. "So, no catastrophic falls lately, Bella?" he teased.

I laughed. "Surprisingly, no."

"Not that she hasn't tried. I've had to catch her a few times." Edward lightly nudged my shoulder with his.

"Par for the course, really," I answered with a nervous chuckle. I felt his hand entwine with mine, and he squeezed gingerly.

"You know, you have really captured our Edward," Esme said.

I looked away, a solid grin on my face, and nodded before I looked back at her. "He's captured me, too," I said, quietly. She beamed at us, and even Dr. Cullen smiled warmly.

"Well, I don't want to take up too much of your time together. It was such a wonderful pleasure to meet you, Bella. Please come back soon." She walked over to me and squeezed my hand.

"Thank you, Esme. I-I will," I stuttered, returning her squeeze and then quickly letting go. "Good to see you, Dr. Cullen."

"Carlisle," he reminded me again from the hospital a few weeks back. "And yes, it was wonderful to see you as well, Bella." His smile was hypnotic, just like Edward's.

Edward led me out the door to show me their lush property. We walked hand-in-hand towards a trail that led us to the bubbling stream.

I breathed deep a few times. "Well, how'd I do?"

He snorted. "My Bella, you don't have to read minds to know that you hit that out of the park."

"Really? She likes me? She...approves?" I tensed waiting for the answer.

"Oh, yes. More than just approves."

An unnamed feeling gently warmed my chest. I felt it for the first time with Alice in her car that morning about a month ago, and I felt it more acutely now. It felt so strong I could finally put a name to it: belonging.

In Edward, and apparently his family, I felt...relevant. It was a new feeling. A good feeling.

Relaxing a little, I walked with him silently. There was something on my mind, and I needed to work up the courage to talk about it.

"Edward, what do you think about me becoming...like you?"

"Like me? How do you mean?" We stopped walking and let go of my hand. When he turned to me, his eyes had narrowed and his smile had turned into a thin line. He was clearly suspicious, and looked as though he dared me to say it.

_Vampire._

"A vampire," I said, carefully. I was scared stiff for what his answer was going to be. He wanted me now, but would he want to be with me for...centuries?

His face fell. "You don't want to be like me, Bella. I'm...an abomination."

"That's ridiculous. Anyway, how are we supposed to be together forever if I can't live that long?"

He stuck his nose up in the air and became indignant. "We will not! We will live out your lifespan, and then we will die, as it is meant to be," he answered matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean, _we_ will die?" My head jerked up to stare at him.

"Well, obviously, I can't live without you, so I will seek to end my existence when yours ends." He shrugged.

"You will kill yourself? That's just...no. No." I stood, dumbfounded.

"You cannot kill what is already dead, Bella," he replied scarcely above a whisper.

"You are not! You walk and talk and feel and love! You are not just dead!" I yelled.

"This is a moot point. The answer is no. You will not become like me." I saw the matter close on his face, but I wouldn't allow it.

"You will not make my decisions for me, Edward. I thought we'd come to an understanding about that." My blood began to boil as I tried hard to keep my temper at bay.

"Not this time. Not this one. I'm sorry, Bella." He shook his head and turned to continue on the trail, leaving me standing there speechless.

* * *

**Day 64**

April 3

_Great. I'm late._

I bolted out of the front door only to be stopped by Edward. "No school today, Bella."

"Why?" I stood with my books jumbled in my arms, my purse balanced on top.

"Let's go inside." He took my books and my purse and headed toward the front door.

I knew well enough to trust Edward, but I still wanted an answer. "Why no school, Edward?"

"I need to tell you something," he said as he closed the door. "It's about your dear teacher, Mr. Beauregard."

"What does he have to do with it?"

"Everything, today. He's hungry - or rather, thirsty."

I stood and stared at him for a minute while I waited for the synapses in my brain to catch up. Of course, I knew what he was telling me. What I couldn't figure out was how I missed it to begin with.

He was Jasper's long time friend!

_Apparently, I'm an idiot._

I shrugged with resignation. "How did I not see this before?" I asked myself out loud.

"Honestly, I would guess it had something to do with being preoccupied with me," Edward said carefully, as though he were waiting for me to freak out.

"So what's his deal? He's 'vegetarian' like you, right?"

He drew a deep breath. "No."

_Oh, of course not! Falling in love with a vampire, that thing in the woods, and now this! I am cheating death here for sure. They're going to name the next Final Destination after me._

"So...no...okay. What do you know about him?"

"I know he hunts elsewhere and tries to fit in. He has remarkable control; I just can't figure out why. Peter concerns me, Bella. He's very careful about what he thinks at school, and I haven't been able to track him to his lair."

_His lair. Creepy._

"Maybe you could surprise him? Like be there when he doesn't know you're there?" My heartbeat sped up. I truly hated how my autonomic nervous system gave me away.

_At least I have my thoughts._

Edward chuckled. "First of all, good luck sneaking up on a vampire. Second, I am at school with you every day, and I'm sure he knows it."

"Wait - you are?" It didn't bother me...really.

"Yes. Bella, there is a traditional vampire in your school, and you think I could leave you unprotected?"

I sighed.


End file.
